Monday, December 01, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Bad News: I'm still in too bad of shape to do AAT yet.
Good News: I'm still losing weight, and I have improved.. not much but a little. Gives me hope anyway.
I brought in a bunch of supplements that I was taking from other doctors (hormone treatment from Dr. Roby was actually making matters worse than better so I'm to stop that), so I had him test those to see which ones I really do need and which ones I shouldn't take. Most of them were "do not take" - at least yet. And he re-evaluated the supplements he had me on, switched up some doses, dropped one, added three. So it all pretty much averages out to the same amount of pill popping, just different pills. :)
What I'm on now:
Spleen PMG (continued)
Calcium Lactate (new - Standard Process brand like those above)
Total Probiotics - Nutri-West brand (new)
BMR Complex - Integrative Therapeutics (I was already taking this for iodine, and I'm to continue)
Calcium - Phytopharmica (was already taking on my own since I can't have milk in any form anymore, but he "dosed" it for me).
Oh, and I have Wheat Germ Oil capsules (Standard Process) which I'm to open the capsule and spread the oil on my skin where I have some scars (from allergy boils/abscesses)
We're hoping with all the changes and discontinuing the hormones that I'll be in good enough shape next week to start AAT treatments, but we'll see how I am when I get there.. especially after this week being in Nebraska.
Anyway, so despite using the force, I'm not quite a jedi yet.. But I'm showing some promise!
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Ok.. I've got good news and bad news.
Good News: There's hope for me.
Bad News: Its going to take time.
I got back from my AAT appt today, with mixed feelings. Mostly because I'm supposed to take these supplements from a company I'm not sure of, with ingredients I'm not sure of, based on arm movement or lack there of, which I'm not sure of. :) I took some today already, and well, that part isn't looking very hopeful, but I'm also not sick as a dog so we'll see how the next few days fare.
He did say that I'm in bad shape, and without some improvement first he doesn't think any AAT treatments will hold. So we're working on getting my body in better shape - namely my spleen & thymus gland, which are supposedly in such bad shape that its surprising they haven't just up and died already. :) My spleen also seems to have a parasitic infection, which I'm to take a supplement to treat.
I did talk him into giving an AAT treatment a shot, so we picked one (just one and only one) food to treat to see if it would hold. I'll be slowly introducing that - onion - over the next few days to see if there is any improvement.
He also tested my endurance to a couple foods that I would have chosen for the AAT treatment, but I supposedly do fine with those foods so no treatment was needed. I'll also be trying those over the next week or so to see how valid that is. :)
But as things are now, there is some hope, and I'm hoping that I'm not reacting to the supplements. *crossing fingers* as there are 5 that I'm taking and several of each every day.
They're all by "Standard Process, Inc."
Each supplement as some scary ingredient, if not more than one, and a couple do have known allergens.. but since he supposedly tested them and I showed no problems with them.. he's confident that I'll do fine with them. For me, the jury is still out. :)
Anyway, thats the update for now. I'm to go back in 3 weeks.
*** Forgot to mention, He said that by getting my spleen & thymus gland into decent shape, that that alone may eliminate or reduce many of my allergies.
I fear that I may be reacting to the supplements already, but I've only taken one dose and I'm quite a bit sleep deprived from the trip anyway.. so its a little difficult to say for certain that its the supplements but I'm suspicious as I had some relatively uncomfortable itching in some not so nice places which may just be circumstantial.
A couple of the supplements though contain almond, and one contains lactose from dairy. With my milk allergy, and a mild almond allergy.. I'm a little concerned about those, but hoping that they won't be an issue.
The poor guy though. I kinda felt sorry for him as he was running all over his office trying to find a supplement that would work for me.. most wouldn't. One even had Rice bran clearly listed, and I was NOT going to be taking that one even if it "passed", which thankfully it didn't.
I've looked up most of what he's given me, and for a few of them Phytopharmica/Integrative Therapeutics makes a relatively similar item. So if worse comes to worse, I may purchase those and take them with me next time for an evaluation on whether they'd work just as well or not. Hopefully it wont come to that though.
Nov. 15, 2008 11pm
Thought I'd let you all know.. The supplements went better today, but I'm still a little cautious about it. I talked to a local alt. health guy today, and some of the issues I had yesterday could just be the supplements detoxing my body. So we'll see how things progress from here.
I did experiment with onions today, and it looks like the AAT treatment he did for that might be holding. I'm not sure I can eat them, but I cut up an entire onion today without breathing issues, or runny nose. Of course my eyes got a little irritated, but nothing major like it used to be. So I'll try eating onions in a day or so. Woo Hooo Progress!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
But this brand of insomnia is different. This brand of insomnia is a full burst of energy right at bedtime or shortly after, if I'm even tired at bedtime at all. I am a bundle of energy, and when most days I drudge along, a bundle of energy is awesome. Sure not quite so awesome at 12am, but hey whatever helps get the house cleaned right?
But while I'm bursting with energy, I'm also wondering if by being active I'm perpetuating being awake. Ugh. Thankfully I had little scheduled to do today, so I did try to take advantage of the energy while it lasted, but I was still torn as I didn't want to end up sleeping all day today.
So between doing things last night, and catching up on some projects that I'd been putting off due to lack of energy or time, I tried to sit down and rest to see if I got sleepy. No luck on that.
I finally did get sleepy at 7am this morning, and at 7:30 hit the bed and was out. (An extremely rare occurrence).
Rarer still, I woke up after barely over 5 hours of sleep, wide awake and in a relatively good mood.
Sounds great huh? It was. But as usual with my body and allergic reaction symptoms (which all of this is just part of the cycle of allergic reactions), every good is followed by an equally great negative.
As I type this, I'm pretending to not notice the little blips of negative & paranoid-esque thoughts slowly increasing in number in my head.
But the upside I guess, is that I did manage to get some laundry and dishes done.. and still hope to get a little bit of baking done before the down gets into full swing. Wish me luck! :)
Monday, October 06, 2008
I hate clothes shopping! No, I love it. I hate it. I love it.
I have been putting off going clothes shopping for months now. The occasional order from OldNavy.com or the occasional picking up an item at Costco not included, I haven't really been clothes shopping for anything since May? maybe longer.
I used to go once or twice every two weeks.
Well the coupon I had for Lane Bryant was nearly expiring so I couldn't put it off much longer, so yesterday I went clothes shopping.
Ooooo Pretty Clothes.. MUST TRY ON!! Ooo More Pretty Clothes! Oooo Pretty Clearance Clothes!
It was a shopping fiesta! Ooo I love shopping!
It didn't hit me right away, thank goodness for the benadryl I took before I went in, so I got a few happy moments possibly an hour of happy shopping before it started to hit me.
Then I looked in the mirror.. My eyes were bloodshot. Sniff.. Yep and my nose was stuffy. Deep breath check.. Cough.. yep gunna have trouble breathing soon.
So I finished up, checked out. I did good.. 4 shirts, 3 shorts, 2 capris for less than $80. (its still shorts weather here btw) So financially I did awesome!
But then I came home, and my eyes itched, my lungs hurt, and I felt like crapola. Ugh, I hate shopping!
So I took a shower, and crawled into some sweat pants and a sweat shirt, and played dead the rest of the night while I popped benadryl every 4 hours.
I'm better today, nearly back to what I was before I went shopping.. except that I gained 2 lbs (corn allergy bloating/swelling) which I somehow have to figure out how to lose them now. Yippee!!
I hate shopping.
Monday, September 22, 2008
food fixing from a 60 year old cookbook.
I am a cookbook-aholic. I admit it, but until recently hadn't looked
into finding old cookbooks. I had a few already from my grandparents,
so I thought I was set.
I have cookbooks from The Silver Spoon, to Culinary Institute, to
Williams-Sonoma that I have found extremely useful in corn-free
cooking and baking. From the simple ideas in my older cookbooks (and
their complete lack of pictures) I really didn't think that older
cookbooks would be very fascinating.
I was at Half-Price Books (local used bookstore) and was looking for a
different book, Persepolis, when I got turned around and ended up
looking in their old & rare book collection. There before me was an
old (& obviously once loved) cookbook. So I picked it up not thinking
to find anything really useful, but curious anyway.
The first place it opened was to the recipe where I got this idea.
Fascinated, I leafed through more of the book and was amazed. There
were pages and pages of ideas of things to do with quick breads,
biscuits, pancakes, and so many varieties of each that I clutched the
book to my chest and didn't let it out of my sight until it was safely
purchased and put in my car.
There are a ton of recipes in this cookbook. Far more than any current
cookbook would dare contain, and the directions are simple and to the
point which I'm sure helped them squeeze so much into so little of a
The book is "The Settlement Cookbook" published in 1949. If you ever
see one, I highly recommend picking it up.
Now to the recipe...
It's honestly extremely simple. Make biscuits, however you make them
with whatever limitations you have. Roll them thin (1/2 inch or less)
and cut with biscuit cutter. In between the cutouts place an already
cooked similarly sized very thin burger or sausage or you could put
chopped meat. Then bake till biscuit is done. Voilà mini-burgers!
I've found these freeze extremely well & do fine reheated in the
micro. Great for breakfast, lunch, or dinner!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Unfortunately, politics also seems to be extremely personal for some people and thus many political discussions devolve into "Yeah, well so is your mother!".. which is one of the things I hate most about politics.
I honestly cannot comprehend why people take politics so personally. Taking them seriously, I get that. But taking someone's disagreement with your point of view as a personal attack.. that I don't understand.
Maybe if someone said "We shouldn't have laws or legislation that helps protect the rights of the food allergic, as they should just die and get out of the gene pool." I might take that personally, maybe. Maybe not. It would probably cross my mind to deck them, and I might even revel in the thought of doing it, but whether I'd act on that urge or take it as a personal attack.. I'm not sure, it would really depend on the situation.
Anyway, what prompted this post, was a series of emails I received with an Anti-McCain/Palin standpoint, from a stanch Obama supporter.
These weren't the normal "my guy believes this, the other guy believes that" type emails. These were dirty, twisted, and in some cases hateful emails. None of the messages were hate directed at me, but hate directed at McCain/Palin as if they were evil incarnate. This person doesn't know McCain/Palin personally, and in the emails there is nothing of real substance, just hateful attacks as if they personally stole this person's lover, ran over their dog, or some other personal evil affront.
That kind of personal hate, I just cannot understand when it comes to politics.
If a person is for something that you're against, of course discuss it, and if needed duke it out. But in politics, if you want peace (and anyone at least half-way mentally stable would) wouldn't you at least try to understand where the other side is coming from, and present to them where you're coming from, before you start in on "You disagree with me, thus you are evil".
One of the big things against Palin, for me & most other women, is that she's against choice in any situation.
But I guess I understand that stance enough to know that she's not anti-people, she's not an evil overlord trying to force herself upon us all.
To people who believe that conception is the start of life, abortion is comparable to executing a 5 yr. old child.
Sure that seems like an overkill comparison, but in truth that is how many who believe that life starts at conception view abortion. Would you not try to put yourself in between an axe and a small child?
That said, unborn babies are just that.. unborn. They need an incubator to live, and that incubator has thoughts, feelings, and rights too.
So no matter how black and white people like to paint things, there will always be a little gray.
Luckily, we have these documents we call the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights. Which tell us that every single one of us has the right to pursue our own happiness and our own religion.
That means, as much as I want the right to believe the way I do and think others should believe what I believe, I don't have the right to make my beliefs law if those beliefs negate someone else's right to their own belief.
So as much as I may not like some peoples choices, they have the right to make them and stand by them. It doesn't make them any more evil than I am. (well unless their choice is to become a serial killer, torture, or something else obviously "wrong" to innocent people - but that goes against our laws anyway).
As it nears election time, and more and more people pick sides, and more lines are drawn in the sand, for me it always boils down to one thing:
Which candidate is true?
I could care less about their religion, their personal beliefs, their family. They could be pro-life, pro-death, pro-whatever.. doesn't matter to me. What does matter is, are they fair? do they have a backbone? are they all talk? are they themselves or just a puppet? do they hold their own strings? if not, who does?
I tend to vote for whomever is constant. If you know where they're going, you know you can fight them on the things you disagree with. If they flit everywhere and are unpredictable, you'll never know what they're doing or what they're planning.. thus you can never arm yourself for battle and will find yourself screwed.
I may just write in Ron Paul.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Do not waste your money! If someone else is paying then maybe.
Plot: assassin grows conscience.
This is mostly action. Some martial arts. Little of anything really to
remark on. Yawn.
Nicolas Cage... If you happen to read this. Never let them style you
hair like that again in a film, unless you're playing a drug addict or
severe social reject. Oh and we all know you can act (at least those
of us who can remember that far back) but can you at least attempt a
film soon which requires it?
If I was handing out stars, I'd say 1. That includes subtracting a
point for Cage looking like an outstanding buffoon during the entire
film which made the dating scenes between him & the smart, educated,
pretty Asian girl unbelievable. She's deaf, not blind.
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Yesterday was a constant battle in which she acted like the sky was
falling (aka constantly under my feet) to the point of trying to get
us to evacuate the house (literally trying to get me in the car to
drive away). The weather is sunny and we are no where near the
Today she seems to be all ok except one thing. She woke me up.
I absolutely hate being woke up. Partly due to a long history of
people thinking they know better than I do when I've slept "enough",
partly due to the fact that if I don't get a minimum of sleep I'm
sickish all day, and partly due to my tendancy of not being able to
get back to sleep once woken. If emergency, fine wake me. If she
needs to go potty, sure wake me.
But this morning there was no reason to wake me other than she thought
I needed to wake up. M was up (and not left for work yet) and able to
put her out if needed or to get her food, or anything else her little
doggie heart desired.
Unfortunately the one thing her little doggie heart desired was to
wake me up. I never did get back to sleep, and thus feel like zombie
woman this morning.
As for doggie, she's just fine and extremely happy that I resemble
awake. I don't have to get up or let her out. She's perfectly happy
with me sitting in bed reading or typing away on my phone. (though if
I look like I'm dozing off she gets pissy)
She's completely crazy.
Out & About. Sent from my phone.
Friday, August 29, 2008
insisted that the Holy Spirit is confined only to human bodies. She
claims that the Holy Spirit can only exist inside (live inside)
people. That any external spirit must be of the devil.
Since I'd never heard of such limitations on the Holy Spirit & know of
absolutely no Biblical evidence of this I started a debate (which
turned to an arguement).
This person has of course "left the Internet" due to evil influences
on the net. So I won't be getting any proof of these txts coming my
way (despite great illogical efffort she failed to provide proof), but
I figured she had to have gotten this idea some where.
So if anyone knows where it says these limitations for the Holy Spirit
or the Spirit of God, please feel free to let me know in the comments
Out & About. Sent from my phone.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Sometimes when I haven't heard any stories like this I find myself
wavering a little on the death pentalty.
But how can you possibly read a story like this and not think, "Kill
There are some things for which there is no excuse.
Out & About. Sent from my phone.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Today started fantastic. That should have been my first clue. I got up feeling fairly good. I had tons of prepared food in the fridge, so I could snack at leisure. And I decided to try to make some headway on the Corn-Free Foods List.
Just as I finished answering emails, I got a call from a new friend asking me to come over for a lazy afternoon of movies. I thought to myself, "YEAH!!" of course knowing full well that this would mean putting off The List for another day.(Whats one more day in the face of like 6 months?) This is also the first time this lady's invited me over, so yeah I was going to go! She also wanted me to bring my dog for a doggie playdate.
So I start getting showered, and I see my dog shaking violently shaking her head as if she's trying to throw water out of her ears. CRAP! I'm fairly certain its mites, but I couldn't see any, so I set up a vet appt tomorrow just to make sure.
Then I called my friend to tell her that I wasn't bringing my dog because I was afraid my dog would give her dogs something. She sounded disappointed, but hey I was still coming.
So I go out to my car. Throw in the drinks I'm bringing with me (I don't go anywhere without safe water), and my jacket, sit down, and put in the key.. turn.. Nothing! A few lights came on, but the engine did nothing. Of course, now I'm cussing!
Now it was going to be too late to go by the time I got my car fixed, so I called my friend and canceled. She was pretty disappointed, and I'm not sure if she thought I was just making up excuses not to go, or if I really had car trouble.
But Honestly, I can't make this stuff up.
So just as I hang up with her, I get an email from M, which I reply telling him that now I'm not going to my friend's house, cuz the car won't start.
He comes home and gives me a jump.
So I keep the car running and head to my normal Hyundai Service Station. As an afterthought, I give them a call .. a sort of "heads up" if you will. A lady answers the phone, and I say "I need to get my Hyundai in for service." She replies with "We don't service Hyundai anymore" WTF?? At this point, I have to use all my power not to cuss her out, and instead end the call.
Now where to go? Luckily I have my handy dandy iPhone, and pull over (car running) to search for there nearest Hyundai service center. Both are in BFE from me. One way freaking north, and one way freaking south. North is faster to get to, so I call them and ask if they can squeeze me in. Sure, on THURSDAY!!
By this time I'm frustrated beyond words and no longer care if my car drops dead on the side of the road. Sure I like my car, but this is so NOT what I wanted to do today and the attack of Murphy's Law isn't helping me any.
So I remember this one fix-it station that I used to take my old car to a long long time ago. Its close to my house, so I decide "screw it" and drive there. They are of course wall-to-wall working on cars with hardly an empty space in their lot, but by this time I'm not going anywhere else. If my car is going to die, its going to die here. Tough!
So I turn off my car.
Wait a few minutes. (While the service men are looking at me like "Who is the idiot sitting in her hot car?")
Then I turn it on again. She started right up! No problems at all! SURE! The final icing on the cake of today. Nothing wrong with the car at all, just enough mess to make you want to crawl back into bed or hit something very hard with a bat.
I've since turned it on. Off. On. Off. On. Off. Works like a charm.
Somebody somewhere doesn't want me to make friends today.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
compounded benadryl. (Well 5-6 days give or take.) I'm going crazy.
Crazy might seem like a strong word, bit there is no other word for
it, unless you feel like delving into obsessed, neurotic, and lunacy.
Since I have to be off antihistamines for a doctor appt, I've had to
take things careful. That means only leaving the when absolutely
necessary, and only going places where I'm relatively certain not to
Unfortunately I had to go out last thurs, reacted to something. So I
had to manage it cold turkey, and spent the next two days "under the
weather" detoxing from the allergic reaction which included a lovely
bout of "chicken little" obsessive doomsday depression.
By Monday I was myself again, though some nagging nasal drip &
sneezing remained, I had finally regained my energy! (not to mention
Of course that was just in time for me to go to my next "leave the
house" obligation at an establishment with a popcorn popper onsite!
So after 3 days of chest congestion, an extremely vile & persistant
runny nose, watery eyes, and in all other ways feeling like a huge
ball of phlegm, I had one good day before plummeting back into it.
I will say that this detox is much much better than last Friday, but I
still want my meds. I want them now.
Currently I'm in the lovely tired insomniac stage, thus the dark
picture of my bathroom & my lazy posting from bed on my iPhone.
Sleep has to come soon surely. Until then, I'll be sniffling and hoping.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
gadgets, and chocolates when my eye happened across Ghiradeli labeled
Once upon a time, not that long ago, Ghiradeli chocolates were a well
respected chocolatier, or at least somewhat. This latest invention
though has put to rest any remaining respect I might still have held
onto since going corn-free (aka no able to actually eat it anymore).
Curious about this "white sauce" they were selling, I picked up the
bottle and read the ingredients hoping to vicariously "taste" the
sauce from the ingredient list. I expected to find milk, sugar,
vanilla, and maybe cocobutter on it. It looked tasty & the Ghiradeli
name made my taste buds water for the last time.
On the back of the bottle was listed the ingredients. I read it
rapidly at first scanning for what I was hoping to see. Of course the
first ingredient was HFCS, so I skimmed further. Maltodextrin. Hmm
nothing yummy there. Artificial flavors & some things I can't
pronounce let alone spell. I skimmed the list again still not finding
an actual tasty ingredient. Puzzled I read it again slower, I was
sure it had to have something to it besides corn & chemicals, but I
Then I laughed. I laughed a cackle not unlike that which brings evil
old ladies and witches to mind. It was an insane laugh & then I smiled.
At least I am no longer one of their fools who just buy crap because
the label says "this is good stuff". I know what's going in my body,
and it isn't any of that.
Funny how close they can make nothing seem like something special.
Out & About - Sent from iPhone
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Last night I thought I'd be brave & try to go to a new friends house for a movie night. It wasn't too far away & since I don't have many friends here I've been trying to work on getting out & being social. This group we're both in was doing a movie & pizza night (without popcorn) so I thought I'd chance it.
I figured it's a short drive & since she knew vaguely of my allergies I wouldn't offend her if I had to leave early or if I reqested something like blowing out candles or whatever. Mostly we all had been meeting at neutral places such as bookstores & eateries that don't serve much corny stuff.
Anyway all was great as we sat outside & chatted (& they ate). But then the movie started & we went inside. I noticed a vanilla scent & secretly tried to find the source, when I saw some candles were lit in the corner I asked her if they were the source of the scent & she said yes & was very ok if I needed them blown out. She's really nice.
Unfortunately, either she forgot or most likely didn't think about it (I think if she'd have known she'd have unplugged it), there was a Glade Plugin in the corner of the room which really was the source of the scent. I of course didn't notice it there until the movie was about over & until then couldn't for the life of me figure out why my nose kept running & my breathing was getting labored. We were watching a teary chick flick as well so watery eyes & runny nose could partly be from that, so I kept debating "Am I reacting? or just enjoying the movie?". Anyway the lights were dimmed & when I finally noticed enough chest congestion that I KNEW it was a definite reaction I looked around more carefully and saw the glowing plugin & muttered cuss words in my head. 5 mins of the movie left, most of the damage was already done so I just waited for the movie to end & politely ran out. Omg fresh air was never so GOOD!
I got through last night with some prednisone & still having lung trouble (among other things - thermometer says 96.8 - crazy) today, but hoping benadryl takes care of it. If not I guess more prednisone.
(see more comments @ Delphi "Avoiding Corn" Forum)
Thursday, July 24, 2008
vaccumed yesterday & it looked pretty nice still today until I let the
dog in and went into my office to answer the pile of emails that built
I was in my office maybe an hour? I come out to the living room &
Dirt dirt everywhere!
So not happy with puppy right now!
Monday, July 21, 2008
I've been playing a new game online & since I'm "hosting" this months edition of it, I thought I'd share it here with you to see if any of you are up to the challenge.
In the empty space on that table in the picture is placed a "Mystery Item". It cannot be fully concealed if you held it in both hands, but it isn't much larger than that.
Please feel free to guess the item by using the comments feature below. Good Luck!
Ok, so now that they're all cheaper, its not so much of a yuppy thing though I do have the 16gig one.
So this passed weekend, amid some major brainfog, I got an iPhone, signed up for a MobileMe free trial (which so far is sucking, but stay tuned), updated to Leopard (for some reason is required for MobileMe?), and am now trying to get my MAC back into where it was.
Of course the look of everything is different, which of course bugs me. :)
But so far so good. The phone is awesome btw.
Just a couple complaints.
iPhone - Addresses in calendar - like events you're going to, and other things, you can't click on them to bring up the map program (aka map it). You instead have to remember the addy and then open map and enter it in manually.
iPhone - Email - you can email photos, if you go to your camera or photos, go through a couple screens, click the photo, click another thing to click there to attach it to an email. However, you cannot attach anything to an email from the actual email programme. Odd.
MobileMe - Does not sync pictures. So you still have to sync your phone to your computer. Then you can buy iPhoto 08 (known as the iLife 08 package $99) in order to easily use the MobileMe picture album thing on your iPhone, in which you then can send pictures one by one to your MobileMe album. Easier - just use friggin Flickr.
Anyway, I haven't quite figured out the in's and out's of everything yet, but it seems every time I want to do something easily.. I can't.
Oh and YAHOO - Friggin make a real chat app for iPhone. AOL has. It can't be THAT hard.
ok.. I'm done. For now. :)
Too much computer learning lately, and all while I was brain foggy.. so it might actually be easier than I let on. Who knows.
Monday, April 07, 2008
But the changes in my reactions are a little irritating, in that I really have to be ON MY TOES. And I should listen to my intuition more than I have been.
Anyway, a few weeks ago I decided to trial some organic grapes from Africa. It went exceedingly well. So I was encouraged that I wasn't allergic to actual grapes, or at least not hypersensitive to the molds on them.
Then I saw at Costco, Dole grapes. Yes I know.. Dole is a really unreliable brand, but the package clearly listed that they were treated with sulfur dioxide.. and since I've had sulfur dioxide without issues.. I thought .. well I'd take a chance.
I ate them Saturday.. a bunch.. and had a little problem.. maybe.. wasn't sure.. kinda sure.. but maybe not.
So I ate more on Sunday.. figured why waste good grapes.. and since I wasn't completely sure I reacted.. I thought I'd try again and see. Nothing major, a little issues.. pretty sure was grapes, but not totally as I did go out and was around corn chips earlier in the evening.
So since I still had grapes on hand today.. I thought well maybe I'll try them again and see. About 2 hours later.. after doing nothing. From the time I ate the grapes til 2 hours later, I'd been sitting on the couch watching tv with hubby and I was playing a stupid "slots" game on Pogo. Nothing taxing, and nothing that would upset me or trigger me to be upset.
So anyway, 2 hours later after the grapes, I started fretting. No reason. Nothing had changed and honestly nothing to fret over. But I was fretting, and honestly it felt like I was trying to find something to fret about. And my heart got racing, and I had a little feeling like something was on my chest.. and I started to panic. About nothing. Sure thoughts flowed through my mind like "if we had more money we could" or "if this.. then this" kinds of things, but each was purely insane, untriggered, and each I knew was completely nothing to worry about. But I was worrying about it anyway, and I couldn't figure out why (which honestly didn't help matters any).
Anyway, things like this I note in my food journal, so I picked up my journal to write it down and took a couple benadryl to hope that it was an allergic reaction and not me becoming nutz. Then I decided to check the last couple nights to see if I'd noted something similar.. and sure enough.. around 2 hours both nights after eating the grapes, I'd noted "mild feelings of panic". The benadryl kicked in shortly and the panic slowly subsided. (Thank God for Benadryl)
I remember though the last time I tried grapes a few years ago, and my allergic reactions were not mild.. but very violent with a lot of digestive problems.
So while it seems I am getting better... I'm also not sure I like it. I almost prefer feeling like I've got the flu to feeling like I'm going crazy or having a panic attack. But I suppose if this is the way to eventually being healthy, and possibly adding some foods back in in the future.. I guess I'll just have to grin and bear it. I just don't need any help feeling looney. :)
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
I am irritated. Making new local friends is not easy.
Making new local friends who have interests in common other than food and eating out, is even harder.
Making new local friends who have interests in common other than eating out, and want new local friends themselves.. is rarer yet.
Making new local friends, who have interests in common other than eating out, want new local friends themselves, and who can deal with a little craziness.. Impossible.
Taking food out of the equation eliminates a good 70% of the population, as most people aren't going to want to just hang out and chat without food. And food here in Austin, usually means corn chips and salsa (not always but generally), and since I (corn allergy) can't be around people eating corn chips.. well.. this isn't an option.
Which leaves other things that don't require food. Meeting at a bar for drinks, book clubs, writing clubs, and maybe bowling if I could find a bowling alley that doesn't pop popcorn.
Anyway, I'm having a little pity party.. you're all invited of course. The decor is all up and pretty.. with dark walls, clouds, and those eerie streams of moonlight.
Luckily I have friends from back when I was crazy all the time, who get me (or at least are used to the crazy) and like me any way.
But it seems no matter what I do anymore, I manage to piss the new friends off. !?!?!?!!??!!! I just don't get it, but in a way I don't really care either.
I used to be a huge people pleaser. I would find out what people wanted in a friend, and change myself to be that. I would alter beliefs, feelings, likes, dislikes, speech patterns, terminology, etc. Almost a head to toe make over, while retaining just enough me. Even some of my real friends, with whom I never had to be anything but myself, noticed that I'd completely change in other people's company.
Thank God that craziness is over!
And now if I have to bend over backwards to be something I'm not, in order to be someone's friend? Ain't going to happen. I could be alone for 10 yrs on a desert island, still wouldn't happen.
So, if you can't handle proverbial the heat of my fire, get your ass out of my proverbial kitchen.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Oh to feel good again. Since my last post, it has been an awful few days, as this has probably been the worst allergic reaction in quite a while.
Thursday was spent in a completely haze of zombie. I roughly remember getting up and going for a walk (previous obligation which I decided I had to uphold). I'm fairly certain that I wasn't very good walking company as I'm not sure I held up my end of any conversation. I vaguely remember her attempting to start conversations, and me using all my energy to reply back. The rest of the day was autopilot in between 3-4 hour naps. I was stressed out, panicking about friends, relationships, life, mistakes I made years ago suddenly being of the utmost importance.. and depression that I would never get it all fixed, or could never overcome it.
Friday, I woke with extreme pain. The type of pain is hard to describe, but somewhere between being thrown down a flight of stairs and being hit by a truck, with your insides feeling like they were on fire. No matter what I ate, what drugs I tried, heating pad or no, nothing helped. If I remained in one position too long, the pain would increase. Even breathing hurt. Shallow breaths were ok, but still caused minor pain. Deep breaths were akin to stabbing myself in the ribcage. Thankfully by Friday night this calmed down to a dull ache. On top of all this, I was still depressed and on the verge of tears.
Saturday was more of the same only less. Fortunately the pain subsided enough for me to attend a writers meeting. It was good to get out of the house, but my depression was bad enough that had someone said "Boo" to me I'm sure I'd have broken down in tears. Deep breaths were still painful, but at least I could move without wanting to die.
Sunday.. Today was pretty good. A little depressed when I woke, and some nagging negativity. But the pain was almost gone, just a little remains when I breathe deep. The remaining pain seems to be due to having crap in my lungs, which I'm hoping will go away tomorrow. The depression has lifted (HURRAY!) and I'm regaining my energy and hopefullness!
Maybe I will remember this, the next time I decide to test my allergens.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
So I should have kept at it, and remained strict to a fault.
Instead, at the Kosher store, there were some KFP (Kosher for Passover) Ringles, which are somewhat like Funyuns, in BBQ flavor that I just had to try. The BBQ flavor of course contains a little bit of onion/garlic to which I am mildly allergic, but I really miss having flavor on my chips/snacks. So I wanted to see if I could tolerate them.
It went pretty well. They were yummy and I was hungry so I ate almost the entire bag. Then I waited for symptoms to set in. I waited. Waited some more. Then figured all was fine and I was home-free.
What totally slipped my mind, was that my onion allergic reactions (ingestion) are almost always delayed. Sure initially the food tastes awesome, and I don't generally have any other reaction right away other than "THIS STUFF IS INCREDIBLE" or maybe the sniffles. But about 2-4 hours later, the sleepiness sets in, the brainfog, the chest congestion, nasal congestion, headache, and the complete inability to concentrate or remember what it was I was supposed to be doing.
I was actually talking to an old friend that I hadn't spoken to in years, when I noticed the first signs sinking in. I thought of course that maybe it was just the small talk getting to me, and that I was bored. So I ignored it, but my ability to concentrate enough to be engaged in the conversation was proving difficult. Luckily it was around the end of the conversation anyway, so no biggie. The funny thing was though that I was telling him how much better I'm doing now. HA HA HA Gotta love the irony.
So right now, I'm sitting here waiting for the benadryl to kick in typing slowly and attempting to make sense. (It's taken me about 30 minutes to write this, btw because I keep having to stop to remember what I was trying to say and where I was going with this, plus to re-read it and make sure I didn't type some sentence like "I shoulder ran hopscotch here.") But I think I'm going to go lay down, cuz the room is starting to spin as if I've had waaay to much to drink.
So much for my good week.
(oh and I'm typing this and posting it, so maybe I'll remember not to be a freaking idiot again.)
-- PS: Note to Self: May have lost a friend because my allergy-altered mind decided to say some stuff in such an off-color way that said friend is considering no longer talking to me. Only the "allergy-altered-you" could possibly misword "I really cherish our friendship, and respect what you're doing" into a insult. So lay off the onion, Idiot!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
So tonight, when a large African-American male stepped onto the stage in dreadlocks holding an electric violin, I honestly was very intrigued and ready to listen to what I thought might be an interesting performance.
All the previous performers had been fairly ok, so I thought this might be good. He began by playing a few notes for the backup band (drums, sax, 2 guitars, harmonica), to get them to understand his song well enough to jam to it.
Initially when he started playing, I thought that maybe he just needed to warm up and that the song and playing would get better.
Unfortunately, I was very very wrong.
The more he played, the worse it got. At first, it was merely out of tune. Then it progressed into everyone being out of tune (I mean this is a GOOD back up band, so when they were all out of tune it was rather scary). Then things got worse. The guy kept playing, and so the band kept plugging along trying to follow him. As the song progressed, not only was the audience wondering WTF, but you could tell the band was thinking that as well (as they struggled to find the melody with which to harmonize). The guy just kept going as if completely tone deaf (he didn't look drunk or drugged, in case you were wondering), and developed an appalling lack of rhythm, which did not help things with the band at all.
The song went on for over 5 minutes which felt like 5 hours of listing to cats screaming with nails on the chalkboard as backup music. The guy unfortunately had two songs, and this was only the first one.
I've never felt sorrier for a backup band in my life, and I will surely have a deep seated fear of black men with dreadlocks playing violin.
Monday, March 17, 2008
I was chatting online with a friend, when I decided I needed to get busy cleaning house. Which I honestly really need to get done. Well when pressed about it, I said; "Well if I clean well enough, I can invite people over for an orgy."
To which they replied, "Oh yeah, that sounds exactly like YOU!"
Needless to say (but I'm going to anyway) I didn't end up leaving IM. Instead we continued talking for quite a while later, and then I accused them of trapping me in chat:
V: you know I still ain't got no cleaning done
SF: i know...unless you got some loooooooog fingers...which might prove useful for the orgy
V: you just don't want me to have an orgy, thats it
SF: no...i want to be invited and be able to go
SF: but since i cant..nobody's going
Ah, the simple entertainment of a couple beers with good friends, in which anything goes without skipping a beat.
Instead I have songs running through my head:
(One More Try - George Michael)
"I'm looking out for angels
Just trying to find some peace
Now I think it's time
That you let me know
So if you love me
Say you love me
But if you don't just let me go...
There are things that I don't want to learn
And the last one I had
Made me cry
So I don't want to learn to
Hold you, touch you
Think that you're mine
Because it ain't no joy
For an uptown boy
Whose teacher has told him goodbye, goodbye, goodbye"
(Crazy On You - Heart)
"My love is the evenin' breeze touchin' your skin
The gentle, sweet singin' of leaves in the wind
The whisper that calls after you in the night
And kisses your ear in the early moonlight
And you don't need to wonder, you're doing fine
My love, the pleasure's mine
Let me go crazy on ya
Crazy on you
Let me go crazy, crazy on you, ohhh"
(All By Myself - ?)
"When I was young, I never needed anyone
And making love was just for fun
Those days are gone
Living alone, I think of all the friends I've known
But when I dial the telephone
All by myself, I don't want to be
All by myself...anymore
All by myself, I don't want to live
All by myself...anymore"
(Even Now - Barry Manilow)
"When theres someone else who cares
When theres someone home whos waiting just for me
Even now I think about you as Im climbing up the stairs
And I wonder what to do so she wont see
That even now...
Even now I wakeup crying in the middle of the night
And I cant believe it still could hurt so bad..
Even now when I come shining through
I swear I think of you
And how I wish you knew
Its been a Crazy on you kinda day, with loud Acapella singing, and strange songs popping into my head. Probably a good thing not to take it out into the public.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Due to recommendation of others who've seen this at The New Editor, Please Use Caution: May be hazardous to your health, please check with your doctor before watching.
I found it immensely funny (and maybe a little misogynistic?) that they think a woman should clean the White House, and even more hilarious that they recommend Hillary. I'll just skip over the complete lack of talent that makes them all look like loonies.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
The Five Love LanguagesMy primary love language is probably
Acts of Service
with a secondary love language being
Words of Affirmation.
Complete set of results
|Acts of Service:||10|
|Words of Affirmation:||7|
InformationUnhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.
Take the quiz
Well.. I'm attempting to get out and meet people here locally. And while I could post for days about some of the people I've met, I'd rather not scare them off (or insult anyone) yet. I'll save that for when they love me enough to forgive me for anything. :)
I've also been attempting to write a book, and even joined a group in hopes that maybe they might challenge me enough to stay on task. (yes I know I have high expectations.)
I also have been "buying and selling" my friends on Facebook, though I do have some cash flow issues there. Some of the people I really want to own, are so far above my pocketbook range that it will take me months if not years to finally own them at their current price.
So what I've decided is to post about my newest toy. The Daily Plate. While for most of you, this isn't going to be a huge "oh boy, this is fun" kinda site, for me its kinda interesting.
You can plug in your weight, and it charts it for you. So you can see the rise (eek) and fall (Yippee) of your weight at a glance.
You can also input your foods from the day, and it adds up how many calories, fat, carbs, etc. that you ate that day. Then you can see charts about how many carbs vs protein, and your calorie intake over the week.
It honestly is a TON of fun, or I'm more severely bored than I thought. You decide. (but if you decide I'm bored, then its your turn to entertain me, so get crackin!)
Friday, January 25, 2008
Liz Henry's "Photo Protest" blog entry really got my attention and I hope to be contributing my own photo soon, if technology doesn't fail me.
The photo protest can be found on Flickr.com "Stop the Spying"
Monday, January 21, 2008
Actually the mood isn't that odd either. So ok the title is ALL wrong.. sue me.
Anyone, who has talked to me for any length of time on a personal level, knows that I've been struggling lately (if lately means last several years anyway) with the direction that my life has taken.
Part of this has been my choices, and part of this has been choices thrust upon me.
Nevertheless, I've been in a quandry. Everytime I think I'm making a good decision to go one path, something happens to make me doubt that choice and wonder if I should switch paths again. Life really should have a road map. If you want to be HERE, follow this road. Though knowning me, I'd probably use that map, get to the "HERE" and still think I made the wrong choice and want to go "THERE" instead.
Today has narrowed down some choices for me. Which when someone mentioned wine to me earlier tonight, I remembered the untouched stock of wines I had, I decided tonight was a good to partake in some.
So now I sit here drinking a French wine, while nibbling on French cheese, (Which sounds much more snooty than it looks btw) trying to wrap my head around my potential futures.
Today I saw my allergist. He's the first of many in a long line of doctors who actually believes me about my struggles and reactions to foods. He even flat out told me that I probably know better than him about my reactions and the consequences, and which foods are most problematic and how to avoid them. This was encouraging to me, as at least he believes me which is a HUGE step in the right direction.
Unfortunately, this was followed by a confirmation from him that I would be saddled with my current restricted diet FOREVER. It's not like I didn't already know it, or that I thought that he would have some solution, but it was hearing it from my doctor that really hit home.
So now I'm trying to plan a life with these restrictions, wondering to myself how strong I am, how much of this I can do on my own, what other limitations is this going to include, and how long can I keep this up?
While I wonder, I'm drinking a glass of wine and eating cheese in hope of drowning out reality for just a little while.
Its a sad day for me, but I'll bounce back tomorrow. Tonight though I just need to mourn for the options I've lost, and hold tight onto the little thread of hope that refuses to die.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
What Fictional Vampire Archtype are You?
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Right now, our dog is throwing a temper tantrum and I have no idea why or what she hopes to gain.
Our dog is a very intelligent, border collie mutt. The only thing we're sure of is that she's border collie, but what else is in there is rather a mystery. She could be a pure breed for all we know, as we rescued her from the Pound.
Over the years, we've come to an agreement. She gets what she wants, and she doesn't make messes, release bodily fluids in the house, and for the most part does what she's told.
Unfortunately, today's issue comes under the category of "WTF does she want?"
I got up today, and my husband had put the dog in the bedroom. When he does this, its usually because the dog has refused to go outside, or its storming, or lawn people are going to be mowing the lawn.
Well its not storming. Its bright and sunny. Its also January, so no lawn people.
So that leaves attitudal dog, so I assume the tantrum she's pulling now is the same tantrum she pulled with him earlier today.
She is quite serious in her desire though, and let me explain.
Our dog has an intense trepidation of the linoleum tiles in our kitchen that extend all the way to the garage door. She only travels them for food, or if we're in the kitchen and its storming badly that she's scared to be alone. Otherwise, she doesn't venture that far onto the tiles, even if we have the garage door open and are trying to coax her into the car.
When I got up and went into the kitchen to fix myself something to eat, she went and planted herself at the garage door. She not only quickly traveled over the scary tiles, but she stayed at the door to the garage in the oasis of scary tile and wouldn't move. So obviously she wanted in the garage, but I had no idea what in the world she wanted in the garage to do. (She never wants in the garage.)
Well I needed to take out the recyclables, so I opened the door to the garage and into the garage she went. She wanted me to follow her, but I finished my task first. I tried to get her back into the house, but she wasn't coming.
So I asked her what she wanted, and followed her. She wants in the car, and since she can't talk I have no idea where she wants me to take her.
Places we take her in the car:
Nebraska - to my parents
Vet - pretty certain she doesn't want to go there
Work - sometimes Morten takes her to work, but he hasn't done that in a long time.
So maybe she wants to go back to Nebraska? Its been 8 days that we've been back, so we're not heading up there any day soon. And when we were up there, after 36 hours she was ready to come home. At 72 hours, she was begging us to go.
She doesn't take "no" very well as an answer when she wants something this badly, so I'm not sure what I'm going to do with her other than physically put her outside and hope her fascination passes.
Right now, as I type this though.. She's sitting in the garage with the door open to the house. She can come into the house at any time, but she is still sitting in there. I don't even think I could get her to willingly come in for some steak. *Sighs* I wish I knew what she really was trying to tell me.
I suppose I better go drag her out.