Sunday, March 23, 2008

Sunshine, Shining On Me!

"Blue skies smiling at me, nothing but blue skies will I see" - Blue Skies lyrics by Les Paul.

Oh to feel good again. Since my last post, it has been an awful few days, as this has probably been the worst allergic reaction in quite a while.

Thursday was spent in a completely haze of zombie. I roughly remember getting up and going for a walk (previous obligation which I decided I had to uphold). I'm fairly certain that I wasn't very good walking company as I'm not sure I held up my end of any conversation. I vaguely remember her attempting to start conversations, and me using all my energy to reply back. The rest of the day was autopilot in between 3-4 hour naps. I was stressed out, panicking about friends, relationships, life, mistakes I made years ago suddenly being of the utmost importance.. and depression that I would never get it all fixed, or could never overcome it.

Friday, I woke with extreme pain. The type of pain is hard to describe, but somewhere between being thrown down a flight of stairs and being hit by a truck, with your insides feeling like they were on fire. No matter what I ate, what drugs I tried, heating pad or no, nothing helped. If I remained in one position too long, the pain would increase. Even breathing hurt. Shallow breaths were ok, but still caused minor pain. Deep breaths were akin to stabbing myself in the ribcage. Thankfully by Friday night this calmed down to a dull ache. On top of all this, I was still depressed and on the verge of tears.

Saturday was more of the same only less. Fortunately the pain subsided enough for me to attend a writers meeting. It was good to get out of the house, but my depression was bad enough that had someone said "Boo" to me I'm sure I'd have broken down in tears. Deep breaths were still painful, but at least I could move without wanting to die.

Sunday.. Today was pretty good. A little depressed when I woke, and some nagging negativity. But the pain was almost gone, just a little remains when I breathe deep. The remaining pain seems to be due to having crap in my lungs, which I'm hoping will go away tomorrow. The depression has lifted (HURRAY!) and I'm regaining my energy and hopefullness!

Maybe I will remember this, the next time I decide to test my allergens.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Hazy Days

I had been doing really really good this week at sticking to my allergy-free diet and only eating things that I was 100% sure about. And the improvements were starting to show, I was slowly regaining my sleep schedule, my energy.. I was finally losing the edema (lost nearly 4lbs in 4 days) and regaining my concentration and my mood was improving.

So I should have kept at it, and remained strict to a fault.

Instead, at the Kosher store, there were some KFP (Kosher for Passover) Ringles, which are somewhat like Funyuns, in BBQ flavor that I just had to try. The BBQ flavor of course contains a little bit of onion/garlic to which I am mildly allergic, but I really miss having flavor on my chips/snacks. So I wanted to see if I could tolerate them.

It went pretty well. They were yummy and I was hungry so I ate almost the entire bag. Then I waited for symptoms to set in. I waited. Waited some more. Then figured all was fine and I was home-free.

What totally slipped my mind, was that my onion allergic reactions (ingestion) are almost always delayed. Sure initially the food tastes awesome, and I don't generally have any other reaction right away other than "THIS STUFF IS INCREDIBLE" or maybe the sniffles. But about 2-4 hours later, the sleepiness sets in, the brainfog, the chest congestion, nasal congestion, headache, and the complete inability to concentrate or remember what it was I was supposed to be doing.

I was actually talking to an old friend that I hadn't spoken to in years, when I noticed the first signs sinking in. I thought of course that maybe it was just the small talk getting to me, and that I was bored. So I ignored it, but my ability to concentrate enough to be engaged in the conversation was proving difficult. Luckily it was around the end of the conversation anyway, so no biggie. The funny thing was though that I was telling him how much better I'm doing now. HA HA HA Gotta love the irony.

So right now, I'm sitting here waiting for the benadryl to kick in typing slowly and attempting to make sense. (It's taken me about 30 minutes to write this, btw because I keep having to stop to remember what I was trying to say and where I was going with this, plus to re-read it and make sure I didn't type some sentence like "I shoulder ran hopscotch here.") But I think I'm going to go lay down, cuz the room is starting to spin as if I've had waaay to much to drink.

So much for my good week.

(oh and I'm typing this and posting it, so maybe I'll remember not to be a freaking idiot again.)

-- PS: Note to Self: May have lost a friend because my allergy-altered mind decided to say some stuff in such an off-color way that said friend is considering no longer talking to me. Only the "allergy-altered-you" could possibly misword "I really cherish our friendship, and respect what you're doing" into a insult. So lay off the onion, Idiot!

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

You're only as good as your worst Musician

I try hard not to stereotype people based on their looks, and given my past, I think I do a fairly good job of it.

So tonight, when a large African-American male stepped onto the stage in dreadlocks holding an electric violin, I honestly was very intrigued and ready to listen to what I thought might be an interesting performance.

All the previous performers had been fairly ok, so I thought this might be good. He began by playing a few notes for the backup band (drums, sax, 2 guitars, harmonica), to get them to understand his song well enough to jam to it.

Initially when he started playing, I thought that maybe he just needed to warm up and that the song and playing would get better.

Unfortunately, I was very very wrong.

The more he played, the worse it got. At first, it was merely out of tune. Then it progressed into everyone being out of tune (I mean this is a GOOD back up band, so when they were all out of tune it was rather scary). Then things got worse. The guy kept playing, and so the band kept plugging along trying to follow him. As the song progressed, not only was the audience wondering WTF, but you could tell the band was thinking that as well (as they struggled to find the melody with which to harmonize). The guy just kept going as if completely tone deaf (he didn't look drunk or drugged, in case you were wondering), and developed an appalling lack of rhythm, which did not help things with the band at all.

The song went on for over 5 minutes which felt like 5 hours of listing to cats screaming with nails on the chalkboard as backup music. The guy unfortunately had two songs, and this was only the first one.

I've never felt sorrier for a backup band in my life, and I will surely have a deep seated fear of black men with dreadlocks playing violin.

Monday, March 17, 2008

No Orgies Here

As I previously posted, today has been an odd day. And I'm obviously in an odd mood. So this is off-humor, so you're warned.

I was chatting online with a friend, when I decided I needed to get busy cleaning house. Which I honestly really need to get done. Well when pressed about it, I said; "Well if I clean well enough, I can invite people over for an orgy."

To which they replied, "Oh yeah, that sounds exactly like YOU!"

Needless to say (but I'm going to anyway) I didn't end up leaving IM. Instead we continued talking for quite a while later, and then I accused them of trapping me in chat:

V: you know I still ain't got no cleaning done
SF: i know...unless you got some loooooooog fingers...which might prove useful for the orgy
V: lol
V: you just don't want me to have an orgy, thats it
SF: no...i want to be invited and be able to go
SF: but since i cant..nobody's going

Ah, the simple entertainment of a couple beers with good friends, in which anything goes without skipping a beat.

Odd stuff for Today

Most of my days are odd in some fashion anyway, but alas today is a little different. Mostly, as I finally have the opportunity to go out, and do whatever.. but I have nothing to do (and little motivation).

Instead I have songs running through my head:

(One More Try - George Michael)

"I'm looking out for angels
Just trying to find some peace
Now I think it's time
That you let me know
So if you love me
Say you love me
But if you don't just let me go...

'Cos teacher
There are things that I don't want to learn
And the last one I had
Made me cry
So I don't want to learn to
Hold you, touch you
Think that you're mine
Because it ain't no joy
For an uptown boy
Whose teacher has told him goodbye, goodbye, goodbye"

(Crazy On You - Heart)
"My love is the evenin' breeze touchin' your skin
The gentle, sweet singin' of leaves in the wind
The whisper that calls after you in the night
And kisses your ear in the early moonlight
And you don't need to wonder, you're doing fine
My love, the pleasure's mine

Let me go crazy on ya
Crazy on you
Let me go crazy, crazy on you, ohhh"

(All By Myself - ?)
"When I was young, I never needed anyone
And making love was just for fun
Those days are gone

Living alone, I think of all the friends I've known
But when I dial the telephone
Nobody's home

All by myself, I don't want to be
All by myself...anymore
All by myself, I don't want to live
All by myself...anymore"

(Even Now - Barry Manilow)
"When theres someone else who cares
When theres someone home whos waiting just for me
Even now I think about you as Im climbing up the stairs
And I wonder what to do so she wont see
That even now...

Even now I wakeup crying in the middle of the night
And I cant believe it still could hurt so bad..

Even now when I come shining through
I swear I think of you
And how I wish you knew
Even now"

Its been a Crazy on you kinda day, with loud Acapella singing, and strange songs popping into my head. Probably a good thing not to take it out into the public.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Hillary Supporters Hilarity

I have to thank Ratnest for putting a heads up about this on his blog. Its too funny not to pass along.

Due to recommendation of others who've seen this at The New Editor, Please Use Caution: May be hazardous to your health, please check with your doctor before watching.

I found it immensely funny (and maybe a little misogynistic?) that they think a woman should clean the White House, and even more hilarious that they recommend Hillary. I'll just skip over the complete lack of talent that makes them all look like loonies.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I could be a porn star! (and so could you).

You have to thank Ratnest for this. This is the most hilarious call to arms.. er.. porn that I've ever seen. Yes, I could be a porn star! :)

How Do You Love?

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Acts of Service
with a secondary love language being
Words of Affirmation.

Complete set of results

Acts of Service: 10
Words of Affirmation: 7
Quality Time: 6
Receiving Gifts: 4
Physical Touch: 3


Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

My Newest Toy

Its been some time since I've posted on here, so I thought what the hey.. But what should I post about? Exactly what have I been doing?

Well.. I'm attempting to get out and meet people here locally. And while I could post for days about some of the people I've met, I'd rather not scare them off (or insult anyone) yet. I'll save that for when they love me enough to forgive me for anything. :)

I've also been attempting to write a book, and even joined a group in hopes that maybe they might challenge me enough to stay on task. (yes I know I have high expectations.)

I also have been "buying and selling" my friends on Facebook, though I do have some cash flow issues there. Some of the people I really want to own, are so far above my pocketbook range that it will take me months if not years to finally own them at their current price.

So what I've decided is to post about my newest toy. The Daily Plate. While for most of you, this isn't going to be a huge "oh boy, this is fun" kinda site, for me its kinda interesting.

You can plug in your weight, and it charts it for you. So you can see the rise (eek) and fall (Yippee) of your weight at a glance.

You can also input your foods from the day, and it adds up how many calories, fat, carbs, etc. that you ate that day. Then you can see charts about how many carbs vs protein, and your calorie intake over the week.

It honestly is a TON of fun, or I'm more severely bored than I thought. You decide. (but if you decide I'm bored, then its your turn to entertain me, so get crackin!)