Corn Allergy Addicts Anonymous

I admitted something really scary last night. Something that I’ve thought of for a while, but came to the forefront when I saw just how debilitating hubby’s allergic reaction was. Since I’m like that or a little bit like that almost all the time, I thought a little bit of that was just “me” and now I’m not so sure. What if I could really be 100% alert? That’s a great thought, right?

I’ve talked before (maybe not so much on here) about having a food allergy addiction to corn. It makes me high, and with very small minor reactions it makes me feel really happy for a few hours.

So here’s the scary part. What if the days that I think I feel good, are really low level reaction days and I’m still in a cycle of self-sabotage? Or what if they’re the “calm” before the storm. What if I get into corn, get happy, get sick, get sad, work to find the source of the corn, remove it, get a clear day.. then subconsciously seek out corn again for another “fix”?

The thing is there isn’t a support group for this type of addiction. There aren’t labels to read that tell me “corn is in here”.. I have to trust my body to react. But with a food addiction, you can’t really trust what your body wants. Your body wants the corn.

Drugs. Alcohol. There are tons of groups and support systems for these addictions, and for the most part the eyes can see these dangers before they’re ingested. But there is nothing for food allergy addiction, and like any addiction, only I can stop myself and change.

The problem is that my “drug” exists in everything, so it feels sometimes like no matter how hard I try, I never will “recover”. My next slip-up is only a snack, a meal, a drink, or sometimes even a breath away.