Glade Plugins Are Evil!

Last night I thought I'd be brave & try to go to a new friends house for a movie night. It wasn't too far away & since I don't have many friends here I've been trying to work on getting out & being social. This group we're both in was doing a movie & pizza night (without popcorn) so I thought I'd chance it.

I figured it's a short drive & since she knew vaguely of my allergies I wouldn't offend her if I had to leave early or if I reqested something like blowing out candles or whatever. Mostly we all had been meeting at neutral places such as bookstores & eateries that don't serve much corny stuff.

Anyway all was great as we sat outside & chatted (& they ate). But then the movie started & we went inside. I noticed a vanilla scent & secretly tried to find the source, when I saw some candles were lit in the corner I asked her if they were the source of the scent & she said yes & was very ok if I needed them blown out. She's really nice.

Unfortunately, either she forgot or most likely didn't think about it (I think if she'd have known she'd have unplugged it), there was a Glade Plugin in the corner of the room which really was the source of the scent. I of course didn't notice it there until the movie was about over & until then couldn't for the life of me figure out why my nose kept running & my breathing was getting labored. We were watching a teary chick flick as well so watery eyes & runny nose could partly be from that, so I kept debating "Am I reacting? or just enjoying the movie?". Anyway the lights were dimmed & when I finally noticed enough chest congestion that I KNEW it was a definite reaction I looked around more carefully and saw the glowing plugin & muttered cuss words in my head. 5 mins of the movie left, most of the damage was already done so I just waited for the movie to end & politely ran out. Omg fresh air was never so GOOD!

I got through last night with some prednisone & still having lung trouble (among other things - thermometer says 96.8 - crazy) today, but hoping benadryl takes care of it. If not I guess more prednisone.

(see more comments @ Delphi "Avoiding Corn" Forum)

Some Days!

Some days I really dislike my dog. Despite what the photo shows I just
vaccumed yesterday & it looked pretty nice still today until I let the
dog in and went into my office to answer the pile of emails that built
up yesterday.

I was in my office maybe an hour? I come out to the living room &
voilà!

Dirt dirt everywhere!

So not happy with puppy right now!

A New Game

I've been playing a new game online & since I'm "hosting" this months edition of it, I thought I'd share it here with you to see if any of you are up to the challenge.

In the empty space on that table in the picture is placed a "Mystery Item". It cannot be fully concealed if you held it in both hands, but it isn't much larger than that.

Please feel free to guess the item by using the comments feature below. Good Luck!

New Stuff

Well believe it or not, I've now joined the official ranks of the "Technology Yuppies" with a purchase of an iPhone.

Ok, so now that they're all cheaper, its not so much of a yuppy thing though I do have the 16gig one.

So this passed weekend, amid some major brainfog, I got an iPhone, signed up for a MobileMe free trial (which so far is sucking, but stay tuned), updated to Leopard (for some reason is required for MobileMe?), and am now trying to get my MAC back into where it was.

Of course the look of everything is different, which of course bugs me. :)

But so far so good. The phone is awesome btw.

Just a couple complaints.

iPhone - Addresses in calendar - like events you're going to, and other things, you can't click on them to bring up the map program (aka map it). You instead have to remember the addy and then open map and enter it in manually.

iPhone - Email - you can email photos, if you go to your camera or photos, go through a couple screens, click the photo, click another thing to click there to attach it to an email. However, you cannot attach anything to an email from the actual email programme. Odd.

MobileMe - Does not sync pictures. So you still have to sync your phone to your computer. Then you can buy iPhoto 08 (known as the iLife 08 package $99) in order to easily use the MobileMe picture album thing on your iPhone, in which you then can send pictures one by one to your MobileMe album. Easier - just use friggin Flickr.

Anyway, I haven't quite figured out the in's and out's of everything yet, but it seems every time I want to do something easily.. I can't.

Oh and YAHOO - Friggin make a real chat app for iPhone. AOL has. It can't be THAT hard.

ok.. I'm done. For now. :)

Too much computer learning lately, and all while I was brain foggy.. so it might actually be easier than I let on. Who knows.

Getting Better - Getting Worse

Well I'm not sure when it happened.. but I seem to be getting better and not reacting as violently to minor corn/allergy infractions.. Though I still react some.

But the changes in my reactions are a little irritating, in that I really have to be ON MY TOES. And I should listen to my intuition more than I have been.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I decided to trial some organic grapes from Africa. It went exceedingly well. So I was encouraged that I wasn't allergic to actual grapes, or at least not hypersensitive to the molds on them.

Then I saw at Costco, Dole grapes. Yes I know.. Dole is a really unreliable brand, but the package clearly listed that they were treated with sulfur dioxide.. and since I've had sulfur dioxide without issues.. I thought .. well I'd take a chance.

I ate them Saturday.. a bunch.. and had a little problem.. maybe.. wasn't sure.. kinda sure.. but maybe not.

So I ate more on Sunday.. figured why waste good grapes.. and since I wasn't completely sure I reacted.. I thought I'd try again and see. Nothing major, a little issues.. pretty sure was grapes, but not totally as I did go out and was around corn chips earlier in the evening.

So since I still had grapes on hand today.. I thought well maybe I'll try them again and see. About 2 hours later.. after doing nothing. From the time I ate the grapes til 2 hours later, I'd been sitting on the couch watching tv with hubby and I was playing a stupid "slots" game on Pogo. Nothing taxing, and nothing that would upset me or trigger me to be upset.

So anyway, 2 hours later after the grapes, I started fretting. No reason. Nothing had changed and honestly nothing to fret over. But I was fretting, and honestly it felt like I was trying to find something to fret about. And my heart got racing, and I had a little feeling like something was on my chest.. and I started to panic. About nothing. Sure thoughts flowed through my mind like "if we had more money we could" or "if this.. then this" kinds of things, but each was purely insane, untriggered, and each I knew was completely nothing to worry about. But I was worrying about it anyway, and I couldn't figure out why (which honestly didn't help matters any).

Anyway, things like this I note in my food journal, so I picked up my journal to write it down and took a couple benadryl to hope that it was an allergic reaction and not me becoming nutz. Then I decided to check the last couple nights to see if I'd noted something similar.. and sure enough.. around 2 hours both nights after eating the grapes, I'd noted "mild feelings of panic". The benadryl kicked in shortly and the panic slowly subsided. (Thank God for Benadryl)

I remember though the last time I tried grapes a few years ago, and my allergic reactions were not mild.. but very violent with a lot of digestive problems.

So while it seems I am getting better... I'm also not sure I like it. I almost prefer feeling like I've got the flu to feeling like I'm going crazy or having a panic attack. But I suppose if this is the way to eventually being healthy, and possibly adding some foods back in in the future.. I guess I'll just have to grin and bear it. I just don't need any help feeling looney. :)

If you can't stand the heat..

*begin rant*

I am irritated. Making new local friends is not easy.

Making new local friends who have interests in common other than food and eating out, is even harder.

Making new local friends who have interests in common other than eating out, and want new local friends themselves.. is rarer yet.

Making new local friends, who have interests in common other than eating out, want new local friends themselves, and who can deal with a little craziness.. Impossible.

Taking food out of the equation eliminates a good 70% of the population, as most people aren't going to want to just hang out and chat without food. And food here in Austin, usually means corn chips and salsa (not always but generally), and since I (corn allergy) can't be around people eating corn chips.. well.. this isn't an option.

Which leaves other things that don't require food. Meeting at a bar for drinks, book clubs, writing clubs, and maybe bowling if I could find a bowling alley that doesn't pop popcorn.

Anyway, I'm having a little pity party.. you're all invited of course. The decor is all up and pretty.. with dark walls, clouds, and those eerie streams of moonlight.

Luckily I have friends from back when I was crazy all the time, who get me (or at least are used to the crazy) and like me any way.

But it seems no matter what I do anymore, I manage to piss the new friends off. !?!?!?!!??!!! I just don't get it, but in a way I don't really care either.

I used to be a huge people pleaser. I would find out what people wanted in a friend, and change myself to be that. I would alter beliefs, feelings, likes, dislikes, speech patterns, terminology, etc. Almost a head to toe make over, while retaining just enough me. Even some of my real friends, with whom I never had to be anything but myself, noticed that I'd completely change in other people's company.

Thank God that craziness is over!

And now if I have to bend over backwards to be something I'm not, in order to be someone's friend? Ain't going to happen. I could be alone for 10 yrs on a desert island, still wouldn't happen.

So, if you can't handle proverbial the heat of my fire, get your ass out of my proverbial kitchen.

*end rant*

Gigio-Meter

I always wondered just exactly what I could charge if I should ever actually become a whore. I guess, now I know?


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Sunshine, Shining On Me!

"Blue skies smiling at me, nothing but blue skies will I see" - Blue Skies lyrics by Les Paul.

Oh to feel good again. Since my last post, it has been an awful few days, as this has probably been the worst allergic reaction in quite a while.

Thursday was spent in a completely haze of zombie. I roughly remember getting up and going for a walk (previous obligation which I decided I had to uphold). I'm fairly certain that I wasn't very good walking company as I'm not sure I held up my end of any conversation. I vaguely remember her attempting to start conversations, and me using all my energy to reply back. The rest of the day was autopilot in between 3-4 hour naps. I was stressed out, panicking about friends, relationships, life, mistakes I made years ago suddenly being of the utmost importance.. and depression that I would never get it all fixed, or could never overcome it.

Friday, I woke with extreme pain. The type of pain is hard to describe, but somewhere between being thrown down a flight of stairs and being hit by a truck, with your insides feeling like they were on fire. No matter what I ate, what drugs I tried, heating pad or no, nothing helped. If I remained in one position too long, the pain would increase. Even breathing hurt. Shallow breaths were ok, but still caused minor pain. Deep breaths were akin to stabbing myself in the ribcage. Thankfully by Friday night this calmed down to a dull ache. On top of all this, I was still depressed and on the verge of tears.

Saturday was more of the same only less. Fortunately the pain subsided enough for me to attend a writers meeting. It was good to get out of the house, but my depression was bad enough that had someone said "Boo" to me I'm sure I'd have broken down in tears. Deep breaths were still painful, but at least I could move without wanting to die.

Sunday.. Today was pretty good. A little depressed when I woke, and some nagging negativity. But the pain was almost gone, just a little remains when I breathe deep. The remaining pain seems to be due to having crap in my lungs, which I'm hoping will go away tomorrow. The depression has lifted (HURRAY!) and I'm regaining my energy and hopefullness!

Maybe I will remember this, the next time I decide to test my allergens.

Hazy Days

I had been doing really really good this week at sticking to my allergy-free diet and only eating things that I was 100% sure about. And the improvements were starting to show, I was slowly regaining my sleep schedule, my energy.. I was finally losing the edema (lost nearly 4lbs in 4 days) and regaining my concentration and my mood was improving.

So I should have kept at it, and remained strict to a fault.

Instead, at the Kosher store, there were some KFP (Kosher for Passover) Ringles, which are somewhat like Funyuns, in BBQ flavor that I just had to try. The BBQ flavor of course contains a little bit of onion/garlic to which I am mildly allergic, but I really miss having flavor on my chips/snacks. So I wanted to see if I could tolerate them.

It went pretty well. They were yummy and I was hungry so I ate almost the entire bag. Then I waited for symptoms to set in. I waited. Waited some more. Then figured all was fine and I was home-free.

What totally slipped my mind, was that my onion allergic reactions (ingestion) are almost always delayed. Sure initially the food tastes awesome, and I don't generally have any other reaction right away other than "THIS STUFF IS INCREDIBLE" or maybe the sniffles. But about 2-4 hours later, the sleepiness sets in, the brainfog, the chest congestion, nasal congestion, headache, and the complete inability to concentrate or remember what it was I was supposed to be doing.

I was actually talking to an old friend that I hadn't spoken to in years, when I noticed the first signs sinking in. I thought of course that maybe it was just the small talk getting to me, and that I was bored. So I ignored it, but my ability to concentrate enough to be engaged in the conversation was proving difficult. Luckily it was around the end of the conversation anyway, so no biggie. The funny thing was though that I was telling him how much better I'm doing now. HA HA HA Gotta love the irony.

So right now, I'm sitting here waiting for the benadryl to kick in typing slowly and attempting to make sense. (It's taken me about 30 minutes to write this, btw because I keep having to stop to remember what I was trying to say and where I was going with this, plus to re-read it and make sure I didn't type some sentence like "I shoulder ran hopscotch here.") But I think I'm going to go lay down, cuz the room is starting to spin as if I've had waaay to much to drink.

So much for my good week.

(oh and I'm typing this and posting it, so maybe I'll remember not to be a freaking idiot again.)

-- PS: Note to Self: May have lost a friend because my allergy-altered mind decided to say some stuff in such an off-color way that said friend is considering no longer talking to me. Only the "allergy-altered-you" could possibly misword "I really cherish our friendship, and respect what you're doing" into a insult. So lay off the onion, Idiot!

You're only as good as your worst Musician

I try hard not to stereotype people based on their looks, and given my past, I think I do a fairly good job of it.

So tonight, when a large African-American male stepped onto the stage in dreadlocks holding an electric violin, I honestly was very intrigued and ready to listen to what I thought might be an interesting performance.

All the previous performers had been fairly ok, so I thought this might be good. He began by playing a few notes for the backup band (drums, sax, 2 guitars, harmonica), to get them to understand his song well enough to jam to it.

Initially when he started playing, I thought that maybe he just needed to warm up and that the song and playing would get better.

Unfortunately, I was very very wrong.

The more he played, the worse it got. At first, it was merely out of tune. Then it progressed into everyone being out of tune (I mean this is a GOOD back up band, so when they were all out of tune it was rather scary). Then things got worse. The guy kept playing, and so the band kept plugging along trying to follow him. As the song progressed, not only was the audience wondering WTF, but you could tell the band was thinking that as well (as they struggled to find the melody with which to harmonize). The guy just kept going as if completely tone deaf (he didn't look drunk or drugged, in case you were wondering), and developed an appalling lack of rhythm, which did not help things with the band at all.

The song went on for over 5 minutes which felt like 5 hours of listing to cats screaming with nails on the chalkboard as backup music. The guy unfortunately had two songs, and this was only the first one.

I've never felt sorrier for a backup band in my life, and I will surely have a deep seated fear of black men with dreadlocks playing violin.