Not a Jedi Yet - Using the Force 2 - AAT

Had my second visit today with the AAT Dr Gonzales.

Bad News: I'm still in too bad of shape to do AAT yet.

Good News: I'm still losing weight, and I have improved.. not much but a little. Gives me hope anyway.

I brought in a bunch of supplements that I was taking from other doctors (hormone treatment from Dr. Roby was actually making matters worse than better so I'm to stop that), so I had him test those to see which ones I really do need and which ones I shouldn't take. Most of them were "do not take" - at least yet. And he re-evaluated the supplements he had me on, switched up some doses, dropped one, added three. So it all pretty much averages out to the same amount of pill popping, just different pills. :)

What I'm on now:
Multizyme (continued)
Thymex (continued)
Cal-Amo (continued)
Spleen PMG (continued)
Calcium Lactate (new - Standard Process brand like those above)
Total Probiotics - Nutri-West brand (new)
BMR Complex - Integrative Therapeutics (I was already taking this for iodine, and I'm to continue)
Calcium - Phytopharmica (was already taking on my own since I can't have milk in any form anymore, but he "dosed" it for me).

Oh, and I have Wheat Germ Oil capsules (Standard Process) which I'm to open the capsule and spread the oil on my skin where I have some scars (from allergy boils/abscesses)

We're hoping with all the changes and discontinuing the hormones that I'll be in good enough shape next week to start AAT treatments, but we'll see how I am when I get there.. especially after this week being in Nebraska.

Anyway, so despite using the force, I'm not quite a jedi yet.. But I'm showing some promise!

Using the Force to cure Allergies: AAT

Nov. 14, 2008 6pm

Ok.. I've got good news and bad news.

Good News: There's hope for me.

Bad News: Its going to take time.

I got back from my AAT appt today, with mixed feelings. Mostly because I'm supposed to take these supplements from a company I'm not sure of, with ingredients I'm not sure of, based on arm movement or lack there of, which I'm not sure of. :) I took some today already, and well, that part isn't looking very hopeful, but I'm also not sick as a dog so we'll see how the next few days fare.

He did say that I'm in bad shape, and without some improvement first he doesn't think any AAT treatments will hold. So we're working on getting my body in better shape - namely my spleen & thymus gland, which are supposedly in such bad shape that its surprising they haven't just up and died already. :) My spleen also seems to have a parasitic infection, which I'm to take a supplement to treat.

I did talk him into giving an AAT treatment a shot, so we picked one (just one and only one) food to treat to see if it would hold. I'll be slowly introducing that - onion - over the next few days to see if there is any improvement.

He also tested my endurance to a couple foods that I would have chosen for the AAT treatment, but I supposedly do fine with those foods so no treatment was needed. I'll also be trying those over the next week or so to see how valid that is. :)

But as things are now, there is some hope, and I'm hoping that I'm not reacting to the supplements. *crossing fingers* as there are 5 that I'm taking and several of each every day.

They're all by "Standard Process, Inc."
Spleen PMG
Thymex
Cal-Amo
Zymex II
Multizyme

Each supplement as some scary ingredient, if not more than one, and a couple do have known allergens.. but since he supposedly tested them and I showed no problems with them.. he's confident that I'll do fine with them. For me, the jury is still out. :)

Anyway, thats the update for now. I'm to go back in 3 weeks.

*** Forgot to mention, He said that by getting my spleen & thymus gland into decent shape, that that alone may eliminate or reduce many of my allergies.

************************

7:30pm

I fear that I may be reacting to the supplements already, but I've only taken one dose and I'm quite a bit sleep deprived from the trip anyway.. so its a little difficult to say for certain that its the supplements but I'm suspicious as I had some relatively uncomfortable itching in some not so nice places which may just be circumstantial.

A couple of the supplements though contain almond, and one contains lactose from dairy. With my milk allergy, and a mild almond allergy.. I'm a little concerned about those, but hoping that they won't be an issue.

The poor guy though. I kinda felt sorry for him as he was running all over his office trying to find a supplement that would work for me.. most wouldn't. One even had Rice bran clearly listed, and I was NOT going to be taking that one even if it "passed", which thankfully it didn't.

I've looked up most of what he's given me, and for a few of them Phytopharmica/Integrative Therapeutics makes a relatively similar item. So if worse comes to worse, I may purchase those and take them with me next time for an evaluation on whether they'd work just as well or not. Hopefully it wont come to that though.

************

Nov. 15, 2008 11pm

Thought I'd let you all know.. The supplements went better today, but I'm still a little cautious about it. I talked to a local alt. health guy today, and some of the issues I had yesterday could just be the supplements detoxing my body. So we'll see how things progress from here.

I did experiment with onions today, and it looks like the AAT treatment he did for that might be holding. I'm not sure I can eat them, but I cut up an entire onion today without breathing issues, or runny nose. Of course my eyes got a little irritated, but nothing major like it used to be. So I'll try eating onions in a day or so. Woo Hooo Progress!

Useful Insomnia?

It's been a while since I've had a full blown case of active & persistent insomnia. Sure I've had the zombie, can't sleep but not really awake insomnia. I've had the "maybe I should try reading a book" insomnia. I've even had the "racing thoughts, can't think, distract myself with simple games" insomnia. (I must have more problems with insomnia than I thought.)

But this brand of insomnia is different. This brand of insomnia is a full burst of energy right at bedtime or shortly after, if I'm even tired at bedtime at all. I am a bundle of energy, and when most days I drudge along, a bundle of energy is awesome. Sure not quite so awesome at 12am, but hey whatever helps get the house cleaned right?

But while I'm bursting with energy, I'm also wondering if by being active I'm perpetuating being awake. Ugh. Thankfully I had little scheduled to do today, so I did try to take advantage of the energy while it lasted, but I was still torn as I didn't want to end up sleeping all day today.

So between doing things last night, and catching up on some projects that I'd been putting off due to lack of energy or time, I tried to sit down and rest to see if I got sleepy. No luck on that.

I finally did get sleepy at 7am this morning, and at 7:30 hit the bed and was out. (An extremely rare occurrence).

Rarer still, I woke up after barely over 5 hours of sleep, wide awake and in a relatively good mood.

Sounds great huh? It was. But as usual with my body and allergic reaction symptoms (which all of this is just part of the cycle of allergic reactions), every good is followed by an equally great negative.

As I type this, I'm pretending to not notice the little blips of negative & paranoid-esque thoughts slowly increasing in number in my head.

But the upside I guess, is that I did manage to get some laundry and dishes done.. and still hope to get a little bit of baking done before the down gets into full swing. Wish me luck! :)

My Love-Hate Relationship

I used to love going Clothes shopping, especially if I had money to buy some clothes. I could spend hours in a store trying everything on, and seeing all the latest styles.

And Now?

I hate clothes shopping! No, I love it. I hate it. I love it.

UGH!

I have been putting off going clothes shopping for months now. The occasional order from OldNavy.com or the occasional picking up an item at Costco not included, I haven't really been clothes shopping for anything since May? maybe longer.

I used to go once or twice every two weeks.

Well the coupon I had for Lane Bryant was nearly expiring so I couldn't put it off much longer, so yesterday I went clothes shopping.

Ooooo Pretty Clothes.. MUST TRY ON!! Ooo More Pretty Clothes! Oooo Pretty Clearance Clothes!

It was a shopping fiesta! Ooo I love shopping!

It didn't hit me right away, thank goodness for the benadryl I took before I went in, so I got a few happy moments possibly an hour of happy shopping before it started to hit me.

Then I looked in the mirror.. My eyes were bloodshot. Sniff.. Yep and my nose was stuffy. Deep breath check.. Cough.. yep gunna have trouble breathing soon.

So I finished up, checked out. I did good.. 4 shirts, 3 shorts, 2 capris for less than $80. (its still shorts weather here btw) So financially I did awesome!

But then I came home, and my eyes itched, my lungs hurt, and I felt like crapola. Ugh, I hate shopping!

So I took a shower, and crawled into some sweat pants and a sweat shirt, and played dead the rest of the night while I popped benadryl every 4 hours.

I'm better today, nearly back to what I was before I went shopping.. except that I gained 2 lbs (corn allergy bloating/swelling) which I somehow have to figure out how to lose them now. Yippee!!

I hate shopping.

Glade Plugins Are Evil!

Last night I thought I'd be brave & try to go to a new friends house for a movie night. It wasn't too far away & since I don't have many friends here I've been trying to work on getting out & being social. This group we're both in was doing a movie & pizza night (without popcorn) so I thought I'd chance it.

I figured it's a short drive & since she knew vaguely of my allergies I wouldn't offend her if I had to leave early or if I reqested something like blowing out candles or whatever. Mostly we all had been meeting at neutral places such as bookstores & eateries that don't serve much corny stuff.

Anyway all was great as we sat outside & chatted (& they ate). But then the movie started & we went inside. I noticed a vanilla scent & secretly tried to find the source, when I saw some candles were lit in the corner I asked her if they were the source of the scent & she said yes & was very ok if I needed them blown out. She's really nice.

Unfortunately, either she forgot or most likely didn't think about it (I think if she'd have known she'd have unplugged it), there was a Glade Plugin in the corner of the room which really was the source of the scent. I of course didn't notice it there until the movie was about over & until then couldn't for the life of me figure out why my nose kept running & my breathing was getting labored. We were watching a teary chick flick as well so watery eyes & runny nose could partly be from that, so I kept debating "Am I reacting? or just enjoying the movie?". Anyway the lights were dimmed & when I finally noticed enough chest congestion that I KNEW it was a definite reaction I looked around more carefully and saw the glowing plugin & muttered cuss words in my head. 5 mins of the movie left, most of the damage was already done so I just waited for the movie to end & politely ran out. Omg fresh air was never so GOOD!

I got through last night with some prednisone & still having lung trouble (among other things - thermometer says 96.8 - crazy) today, but hoping benadryl takes care of it. If not I guess more prednisone.

(see more comments @ Delphi "Avoiding Corn" Forum)

Getting Better - Getting Worse

Well I'm not sure when it happened.. but I seem to be getting better and not reacting as violently to minor corn/allergy infractions.. Though I still react some.

But the changes in my reactions are a little irritating, in that I really have to be ON MY TOES. And I should listen to my intuition more than I have been.

Anyway, a few weeks ago I decided to trial some organic grapes from Africa. It went exceedingly well. So I was encouraged that I wasn't allergic to actual grapes, or at least not hypersensitive to the molds on them.

Then I saw at Costco, Dole grapes. Yes I know.. Dole is a really unreliable brand, but the package clearly listed that they were treated with sulfur dioxide.. and since I've had sulfur dioxide without issues.. I thought .. well I'd take a chance.

I ate them Saturday.. a bunch.. and had a little problem.. maybe.. wasn't sure.. kinda sure.. but maybe not.

So I ate more on Sunday.. figured why waste good grapes.. and since I wasn't completely sure I reacted.. I thought I'd try again and see. Nothing major, a little issues.. pretty sure was grapes, but not totally as I did go out and was around corn chips earlier in the evening.

So since I still had grapes on hand today.. I thought well maybe I'll try them again and see. About 2 hours later.. after doing nothing. From the time I ate the grapes til 2 hours later, I'd been sitting on the couch watching tv with hubby and I was playing a stupid "slots" game on Pogo. Nothing taxing, and nothing that would upset me or trigger me to be upset.

So anyway, 2 hours later after the grapes, I started fretting. No reason. Nothing had changed and honestly nothing to fret over. But I was fretting, and honestly it felt like I was trying to find something to fret about. And my heart got racing, and I had a little feeling like something was on my chest.. and I started to panic. About nothing. Sure thoughts flowed through my mind like "if we had more money we could" or "if this.. then this" kinds of things, but each was purely insane, untriggered, and each I knew was completely nothing to worry about. But I was worrying about it anyway, and I couldn't figure out why (which honestly didn't help matters any).

Anyway, things like this I note in my food journal, so I picked up my journal to write it down and took a couple benadryl to hope that it was an allergic reaction and not me becoming nutz. Then I decided to check the last couple nights to see if I'd noted something similar.. and sure enough.. around 2 hours both nights after eating the grapes, I'd noted "mild feelings of panic". The benadryl kicked in shortly and the panic slowly subsided. (Thank God for Benadryl)

I remember though the last time I tried grapes a few years ago, and my allergic reactions were not mild.. but very violent with a lot of digestive problems.

So while it seems I am getting better... I'm also not sure I like it. I almost prefer feeling like I've got the flu to feeling like I'm going crazy or having a panic attack. But I suppose if this is the way to eventually being healthy, and possibly adding some foods back in in the future.. I guess I'll just have to grin and bear it. I just don't need any help feeling looney. :)

Sunshine, Shining On Me!

"Blue skies smiling at me, nothing but blue skies will I see" - Blue Skies lyrics by Les Paul.

Oh to feel good again. Since my last post, it has been an awful few days, as this has probably been the worst allergic reaction in quite a while.

Thursday was spent in a completely haze of zombie. I roughly remember getting up and going for a walk (previous obligation which I decided I had to uphold). I'm fairly certain that I wasn't very good walking company as I'm not sure I held up my end of any conversation. I vaguely remember her attempting to start conversations, and me using all my energy to reply back. The rest of the day was autopilot in between 3-4 hour naps. I was stressed out, panicking about friends, relationships, life, mistakes I made years ago suddenly being of the utmost importance.. and depression that I would never get it all fixed, or could never overcome it.

Friday, I woke with extreme pain. The type of pain is hard to describe, but somewhere between being thrown down a flight of stairs and being hit by a truck, with your insides feeling like they were on fire. No matter what I ate, what drugs I tried, heating pad or no, nothing helped. If I remained in one position too long, the pain would increase. Even breathing hurt. Shallow breaths were ok, but still caused minor pain. Deep breaths were akin to stabbing myself in the ribcage. Thankfully by Friday night this calmed down to a dull ache. On top of all this, I was still depressed and on the verge of tears.

Saturday was more of the same only less. Fortunately the pain subsided enough for me to attend a writers meeting. It was good to get out of the house, but my depression was bad enough that had someone said "Boo" to me I'm sure I'd have broken down in tears. Deep breaths were still painful, but at least I could move without wanting to die.

Sunday.. Today was pretty good. A little depressed when I woke, and some nagging negativity. But the pain was almost gone, just a little remains when I breathe deep. The remaining pain seems to be due to having crap in my lungs, which I'm hoping will go away tomorrow. The depression has lifted (HURRAY!) and I'm regaining my energy and hopefullness!

Maybe I will remember this, the next time I decide to test my allergens.

Hazy Days

I had been doing really really good this week at sticking to my allergy-free diet and only eating things that I was 100% sure about. And the improvements were starting to show, I was slowly regaining my sleep schedule, my energy.. I was finally losing the edema (lost nearly 4lbs in 4 days) and regaining my concentration and my mood was improving.

So I should have kept at it, and remained strict to a fault.

Instead, at the Kosher store, there were some KFP (Kosher for Passover) Ringles, which are somewhat like Funyuns, in BBQ flavor that I just had to try. The BBQ flavor of course contains a little bit of onion/garlic to which I am mildly allergic, but I really miss having flavor on my chips/snacks. So I wanted to see if I could tolerate them.

It went pretty well. They were yummy and I was hungry so I ate almost the entire bag. Then I waited for symptoms to set in. I waited. Waited some more. Then figured all was fine and I was home-free.

What totally slipped my mind, was that my onion allergic reactions (ingestion) are almost always delayed. Sure initially the food tastes awesome, and I don't generally have any other reaction right away other than "THIS STUFF IS INCREDIBLE" or maybe the sniffles. But about 2-4 hours later, the sleepiness sets in, the brainfog, the chest congestion, nasal congestion, headache, and the complete inability to concentrate or remember what it was I was supposed to be doing.

I was actually talking to an old friend that I hadn't spoken to in years, when I noticed the first signs sinking in. I thought of course that maybe it was just the small talk getting to me, and that I was bored. So I ignored it, but my ability to concentrate enough to be engaged in the conversation was proving difficult. Luckily it was around the end of the conversation anyway, so no biggie. The funny thing was though that I was telling him how much better I'm doing now. HA HA HA Gotta love the irony.

So right now, I'm sitting here waiting for the benadryl to kick in typing slowly and attempting to make sense. (It's taken me about 30 minutes to write this, btw because I keep having to stop to remember what I was trying to say and where I was going with this, plus to re-read it and make sure I didn't type some sentence like "I shoulder ran hopscotch here.") But I think I'm going to go lay down, cuz the room is starting to spin as if I've had waaay to much to drink.

So much for my good week.

(oh and I'm typing this and posting it, so maybe I'll remember not to be a freaking idiot again.)

-- PS: Note to Self: May have lost a friend because my allergy-altered mind decided to say some stuff in such an off-color way that said friend is considering no longer talking to me. Only the "allergy-altered-you" could possibly misword "I really cherish our friendship, and respect what you're doing" into a insult. So lay off the onion, Idiot!

Odd Day

I really shouldn't title this "Odd Day" as today hasn't been that odd. I'm just in an odd mood today.

Actually the mood isn't that odd either. So ok the title is ALL wrong.. sue me.

Anyone, who has talked to me for any length of time on a personal level, knows that I've been struggling lately (if lately means last several years anyway) with the direction that my life has taken.

Part of this has been my choices, and part of this has been choices thrust upon me.

Nevertheless, I've been in a quandry. Everytime I think I'm making a good decision to go one path, something happens to make me doubt that choice and wonder if I should switch paths again. Life really should have a road map. If you want to be HERE, follow this road. Though knowning me, I'd probably use that map, get to the "HERE" and still think I made the wrong choice and want to go "THERE" instead.

Today has narrowed down some choices for me. Which when someone mentioned wine to me earlier tonight, I remembered the untouched stock of wines I had, I decided tonight was a good to partake in some.

So now I sit here drinking a French wine, while nibbling on French cheese, (Which sounds much more snooty than it looks btw) trying to wrap my head around my potential futures.

Today I saw my allergist. He's the first of many in a long line of doctors who actually believes me about my struggles and reactions to foods. He even flat out told me that I probably know better than him about my reactions and the consequences, and which foods are most problematic and how to avoid them. This was encouraging to me, as at least he believes me which is a HUGE step in the right direction.

Unfortunately, this was followed by a confirmation from him that I would be saddled with my current restricted diet FOREVER. It's not like I didn't already know it, or that I thought that he would have some solution, but it was hearing it from my doctor that really hit home.

So now I'm trying to plan a life with these restrictions, wondering to myself how strong I am, how much of this I can do on my own, what other limitations is this going to include, and how long can I keep this up?

While I wonder, I'm drinking a glass of wine and eating cheese in hope of drowning out reality for just a little while.

Its a sad day for me, but I'll bounce back tomorrow. Tonight though I just need to mourn for the options I've lost, and hold tight onto the little thread of hope that refuses to die.