Email Mysteries

Most of the spam email that I recieve is advertisements for "male enhancement" or how I can click this link to get laid.

Occaisionally I'll get a spam email with some kind of gibberish in it where nothing in it actually makes sense. It looks like it might be a story, but its like tearing a page of a book in half length-wise and trying to make out the story from partial sentences.

And then... There is today's spam mail.

I honestly can't wait til the next one. They are very interesting in a spooky, who-the-hell-comes-up-with-this-and-why kind of way.

The first one:

"Subject: Helen, the mother of great Constantine, nor yet Saint Philip's daughters were like these" (so far normal spam babel, then I read the one sentence contents.)

"For purposes of this Section, a series of related events shall constitute a single material breach."

Kinda creepy. To me it reads like some kind of sci-fi horoscope. What does it mean? What events? What breach? OMG am I in trouble? Crap, while I was playing games did I accidently hack into mission control?

The second one is from Vit Loftus, which is a very strange name and reminds me of a sci-fi alien character or something. And after reading the creepy material breech spam, I'm a little on edge. The message simply states:

"I forbid you to tell the boy anything."

What boy? Crap, I don't know what boy, but rest assured if I see said boy, I won't be telling anything I swear. Don't kill my doggie, I swear I won't tell.

(Now just to figure out what it is that I'm supposed to know.)

Are you the government's whore?

Scary.

You know those secret plots we hear about that our government is secretly tracking us… etc.

What if they are true?

According to a recent article on JunkFood Science talks about mandatory medical record keeping that the federal government is insisting on implementing.

Honestly, this is the problem with federal income tax. It gives the federal government too much power over the states, as that is how the federal government is getting these mandatory programs to go over. States are “voluntarily” switching to these recording measures, because if they don’t, there will be no more federal funds.

Scary Snippets from the JunkFood Science article:

“For example, mandatory electronic reporting of glycosylated hemoglobin (A1c) values by laboratories to the state Department of Health and Mental Hygiene was recently enacted in New York City. The mandatory program is without patient’s knowledge or informed consent, nor are people free to opt out, according to World Net Daily. Add to that, we’ve already had glimpses of how this information can and is being used by government officials. Pennsylvania’s new plan to manage “chronic illnesses, as described in a recent post, includes identifying and tracking those with diabetes first and putting them under state disease management.”

“A number of states, including Maine and Colorado, have introduced legislation making all Medicaid and food assistance recipients, and state employees, who are deemed overweight be required to undergo weight loss interventions, including “behavior modification” and prescription drugs.”

While most of the article is about HIV testing no longer being anonymous, its these two things that really got me freaking. So, not only are we required to pay taxes for these very programs, but when we get to the point of actually needing them, we may have to jump through hoops like a show dog in order to get the benefits.

And while it sounds all well and good to make people take care of themselves, maintain their health conditions, etc., what happened to personal rights?

Should you ever happen to need help/assistance, your body is no longer yours, but lots of bureaucrats now own your body. It's a whole new version of selling your body for bucks. Except these bucks, are our own.

God forbid we ever implement a socialized medicine program (government health insurance).

Bucket O Possum

Right now as I type this, on my back porch there is an opossum. It is trapped in a large galvanized metal bucket with chicken wire on the top. It is being haphazardly guarded by my dog, though I don't think it'll escape anyway.

The poor little thing is a baby opossum and is extremely cute. Then it bares it's teeth and you start to see what it would look like full grown.. Fortunately though it is just a little baby, it might be 5lbs when wet.

My husband used to always want to go to this Mexican eatery in town because once under the outside decking he saw a baby opossum. So I thought I'd keep it here until he gets home.

Even though when I called him to tell him that it was in the back yard and if I left it alone the dog would kill it. He told me to let the dog kill it.

Of course when I reminded him of the baby opossum he used to adore at the Mexican restaurant, and asked him if he would sit back and watch our dog kill it. He replied: "No, but YOU'RE the one watching the dog kill it, not me." (I shouldn't really type the names I calling him in my head.)

I tried calling a pest removal place. They couldn't come out and get it today, and I sure wasn't going to leave the poor thing out there to be mauled to death by our dog. Our dog won't eat it btw. She just likes to play with things until they're dead and no more fun. I'm sorry but watching my 45lbs. normally very sweet hearted dog (at least with people she is) maul to death a poor little rather defenseless opossum, is not on my list of things to watch today. Nor would it be on my list of things to watch ever.

I was advised by many to just dump the thing in the neighbors yard. Which would be fine, if I could be sure it would stay there. But see, opossum's don't understand fences as boundaries, so with the dog's water outside and my hopefully soon-to-be producing garden, I really don't want an opossum to be around to seal my veggies (like I don't have enough competition with the squirrels). Not to mention that the opossum's like to run around at night and cause my dog (and the other neighborhood dogs)to bark incessantly.

So the poor opossum is sitting terrified in a bucket, safe, waiting for my husband to come home so we can drive out to an uninhabited area and release it. That way my husband gets to share in my experiences today. :) Thats what he gets for trying to put the death of an innocent baby creature on my head!

Online Comics - Schlock Mercenary

I should not poke around my friend's sites when I'm bored. (repeat 100 times)

Because when I'm bored, I find things that I'm interested in. Which means more things to take up my time. And most times these things are not really valuable uses of time, but things that entertain me.

So.. I was poking around on Datarat's website and I found Schlock Mercenary Online Comic Strip.

Now most days, I would follow the link. Read the one strip on it. Not get interested and move on.

But this time, I was bored.

I was bored and since my friend has referred to this comic strip several times, I think that it must be something really cool. So I decide to read several days of this comic. Which was a big mistake.

See.. I went back and read about a month of this comic strip. And when I ended on today's strip, I got mad. I wanted MORE! Unfortunately now I have to wait til tomorrow for more.

I really hate waiting.

Global Warming caused by Law Changes

This has to be the most hilarious thing I've read in ages. I actually have my friend Datarat to thank for alerting me to this.

While I'm not a big fan of the scare of supposed global warming, this article was way too funny to pass up.

It seems according to one Arkansas lady that lawmakers are plotting and making laws to cause this global warming.

Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss

I have just finished watching what has to be the best film I’ve seen in a long while. While the film is predominantly gay, with its token straight couple, it’s overriding theme about the search for the love of your life is applicable to everyone.

The film Billy’s Hollywood Screen Kiss has one fantastically accurately truthfully beautifully captured scene which has prompted me to write this post.

The scene is a scene that most of us have probably had in our lives at least once, if not numerous times. But never before in film have I ever seen this scene so accurately portrayed.

The scene is two friends with possible sexual chemistry, due to reasons which they both agree are valid (whether they really are or not), end up sharing a bed for a night.

It is a very captivating scene. Where there is so much tension, as they both are unsure whether or not the other shares their interest and each are afraid of ruining the friendship.

So the subtle dance begins.

Since they’re both chicken, they pretend to be asleep. One sleepingly pretends to change position and “happens” to touch the other letting their body rest in that position for a bit, waiting to see what the other one does. When nothing happens, he pulls his arm away and waits, giving up hope. But then the other, sleepingly adjusts his position so they’re touching again. Unsure if this is intentional, or a sleeping move, he snuggles in a bit to test the waters. Then the other moves into the snuggle a bit.

It is a very slow, tension-filled dance that brought back so many memories for me. I had forgotten how that intense timidity felt, but the movie brings it all back to life and lets the viewer share this intimate moment as if you’re there in it. It has to be the most touching scene in a movie that I have seen in a long long time.

There is a similar themed scene in “Just Friends”, but Billy’s Hollywood Screen Kiss captures it much better with more heart and less cheesiness.

Honestly, even if you’re homophobic, it’s worth watching this movie if only just for that scene.

This goes out to the hard work of the Orthodox Union

Feeling Normal.

Ok.. maybe normal is a little strong. But I've been on a really restricted diet for quite a while now, and have not had a good time trying to find corn-free foods at the grocery stores.

So now its Springtime, and that means Passover. This is the time that I thank God for Jewish people. No, I’m not being facetious or in any way making light of Judaism. I honestly love them for giving me a few months each year of bliss.

Here's why: Their Kosher For Passover (KFP) guidelines are a god-send for those of us allergic to corn, rice, and beans.

Today I purchased $300 worth of food stuffs at the grocery store. Why you ask? Mostly because there was $300 of food stuffs at the grocery store that I could purchase and safely eat. And I didn't even clean off their shelves.

To be frank, KFP season is like a two - three month long party for those of us allergic to corn. Corn-free candies, pickles, canned fruits, tomato sauces, gum, coffee, vanilla, food colorings, etc. hit the shelves of Kosher grocery stores all over the country. And Kosher.com has ready-made cakes for sale that are all free of corn, rice, and beans. Do you know how long its been since I've purchased a cake?

Today, I pigged out on chocolate covered orange peels, fruit chew candy, gummy bears. I even had toast and jam for breakfast, and a juice box!!

And right now, I'm finishing off today with a Bud Light (which isn't probably KFP, but someone said it was corn-free so in my excitement I decided to check it out, and so far so good.)

I feel normal. Despite the hoarding of the limited supply of KFP goods that I'll need for the rest of the year, and trying to figure out where to store it all, I feel normal.

I'm hopefull actually. For the last few months, I have been in the dumps trying to think of where I can find corn-free foods, as each tidbit of pleasure food I had seemed to be corn-taminated and thus had to be eliminated. So now I have $300 worth of food stuffs (and I'll probably go back to the store for a few other things), so I feel calm, relaxed, and worry-free. I'm no longer wondering what I am going to eat tomorrow. I know I have a pile of food just waiting for me to eat it, and thats a peaceful thought.

Ice Storm in Nebraska

For those who question why I moved from Nebraska, and have absolutely no desire to move back. Please check out this photo display of a recent ice storm.

Now if you think this is just a one time thing and that winters are never this bad in Nebraska, think again.

While the widespread power outages might not be as bad on a yearly basis, I do remember nearly every year having ice storms that coated streets, trees, fences, grass, etc much like shown in the pictures. Some years were worse (more ice) than others.

The aftermath of ice storms is usually a very beautiful site. The light reflects on everything as if it was all made of glass. Then you look harder and realize the damage and clean up that's going to have to happen. Soon enough the pretty wears off and the drudgery begins. De-icing streets. Salting sidewalks.

And the ever so lovely, chipping your car out of the ice capsule that it surely is in. Sometimes cars get so sealed in there is nearly nothing you can do. If you chip too hard, you'll go through and scratch the paint. Door jams are usually sealed with solid ice, not to mention the handles or lock. You can douse your car in window washer with anti-freeze if you have enough on hand, provided that its not sealed in your trunk, but that usually doesn't help much. I suppose if you had a safe way of lighting a torch you could melt the ice off that way but the probability of setting yourself on fire is much more likely.

If you do manage to get in your car, you'd better hope you have a lot of gas. (This is one of the reasons I refuse to have less than 1/4 tank in my car. Old habits die hard.) You're going to need to start your car and put on the defrost on high, or you'll never get the ice off your windshield. After a while of defrosting your windows, the layer of ice next to the window turns to water and makes it easily removable. Or at least more easy to remove than solid ice on glass.

Once you get your car unsealed, you have to watch the streets as often they are sheets of ice.

Most often it is just best to call (if you have a functional phone) your boss and say "Sorry I can't come in" and hope you don't get fired.

Days like this is why I always have insisted on having a billion candles, a good supply of board games and decks of cards. (This is also why most Nebraskan's DO know their neighbors.)

Corn Allergy Addicts Anonymous

I admitted something really scary last night. Something that I’ve thought of for a while, but came to the forefront when I saw just how debilitating hubby’s allergic reaction was. Since I’m like that or a little bit like that almost all the time, I thought a little bit of that was just “me” and now I’m not so sure. What if I could really be 100% alert? That’s a great thought, right?

I’ve talked before (maybe not so much on here) about having a food allergy addiction to corn. It makes me high, and with very small minor reactions it makes me feel really happy for a few hours.

So here’s the scary part. What if the days that I think I feel good, are really low level reaction days and I’m still in a cycle of self-sabotage? Or what if they’re the “calm” before the storm. What if I get into corn, get happy, get sick, get sad, work to find the source of the corn, remove it, get a clear day.. then subconsciously seek out corn again for another “fix”?

The thing is there isn’t a support group for this type of addiction. There aren’t labels to read that tell me “corn is in here”.. I have to trust my body to react. But with a food addiction, you can’t really trust what your body wants. Your body wants the corn.

Drugs. Alcohol. There are tons of groups and support systems for these addictions, and for the most part the eyes can see these dangers before they’re ingested. But there is nothing for food allergy addiction, and like any addiction, only I can stop myself and change.

The problem is that my “drug” exists in everything, so it feels sometimes like no matter how hard I try, I never will “recover”. My next slip-up is only a snack, a meal, a drink, or sometimes even a breath away.

The Best Gift Ever!

This might seem a bit callous, but honestly this New Years will be remembered as the Best Christmas/New Years ever. (or at least for now) Due to one simple thing.

My husband now knows first hand what its like to be me.

Now before you get all judgmental in my rejoicing that my husband has food allergies and had an allergic reaction during Christmas/New Years, let me just tell you that it wasn't in any way life threatening. He got to experience a very low level, but annoying reaction. A reaction that he'd only observed in me prior to experiencing it himself. A reaction that he used to "disbelieve" or think that I "made up" or that I was making "more out of it" than it really was.

So yes, I am extremely happy that he now knows first hand what its like. Since he would be my primary caregiver, and would have to mediate with doctors on my behalf should something happen, I am extremely happy that he now "gets it".

But I'm digressing.. Now onto the real story..

During Christmas at my parents, Hubby started having problems with allergies. (It could have been mold issues, who knows) On our arrival back home, we both had sinus problems. On our return (Wednesday), we went sales shopping and hubby picked up some After Eight mints on sale.

(In Sept, hubby had received test results which one said a mild wheat allergy, and another less reliable test stated a mild mint allergy. So we removed both from his diet.)

He decided he wanted to test the mint allergy. He's an adult, so I have to let him figure this out on his own (at least somewhat). But unknown to me, he ate several boxes of After Eights in the next few days. I believe he finished the last of them on Saturday.

On Friday, hubby went to a salad bar and had a salad with olive oil and salt. Unfortunately, he didn't admit to me until Sunday that he'd also had "fake bacon" (wheat) on it. To his defense, he didn't know it had wheat in it, as he doesn't think about it unless he's specifically told "no".

I don't normally see my husband on the days he works, except at night. So I really didn't notice much issues, until Saturday. On Saturday, he was out of it. You know that whole saying "The Doors open, but no one is home?" that would be a pretty apt description of him on Saturday. He kept complaining that he just couldn't seem to concentrate. He has this project that he's been trying to work on, but he couldn't manage to concentrate enough to do anything. The more he talked, the more I said "You sound like me, you sure you didn't get into anything?" He insisted he hadn't and that it wasn't anything.

Then Sunday rolled around. If I thought he wasn't "in" on Saturday, he had vacated earth on Sunday. Then in the late afternoon, when I realized he wasn't going to be better by evening and going out wasn't going to be an option because even if he didn't drink, there was no way he could drive. So we went to rent movies. By this time, he'd admitted that something was really wrong and that I might be right about the allergies. He also fessed up at this time to the fake bacon on the salad on Friday, as well as devouring the After Eights.

I have to say that I wasn't being very nice during all this. I was laughing the entire day. It was hilarious. He was doing all the things that he complains that I do all the time just to irritate him. (Which I don't do on purpose, I don't often realize I'm doing it. Because its part of my allergic reactions) So here he was doing them, despite himself.

We went to Hollywood Rentals, and went to pick up movies. He didn't want to rent anything that would make him think, so we rented anything that was a light comedy. We left with 5 movies. Normally he insists on only 2 movies, maybe 3 if I insist. However, he couldn't decide which movie to watch. Now this is not your normal.. "I like both of these, so I can't decide".. this was "I honestly can't think about it right now. I have no idea which one to pick" type of indecision that I am known for. Until now, no one else had understood that depth of indecision, and hubby had been quite judgmental about my indecisive tendencies. So I thought it all incredibly hilarious. Especially when we got to the counter with 5 movies, and he didn't even try to narrow it down. He knew if he tried to narrow it down, that I'd make him decide which movies not to rent, and he'd rather not think about it.

I honestly don't think I've laughed so much in one day in all my life.

Then I wanted to get some seltzer water, as I was out at home. Since we weren't going out drinking, I wanted to be able to make something at home. Normally, he would want to talk me out of it as he hates going to regular grocery stores with me, as I love to read all the labels and seek out new items. He didn't even protest.

He did however decide that he wanted to make his own drinks (we have potato vodka at home he could use safely). He doesn't like very many alcohol drinks, and milk is out, so we had to be creative. While we were there, the munchies set in.

Now, I've tried to describe the munchies to others, but I always fail. I've never smoked pot, but I have seen and heard potheads talk about getting the munchies and devouring anything in sight. This is the munchies that my husband had.

It started as he wanted something to snack on while watching the movies. Normal yes? Then it progressed.

You have to understand shopping with hubby to get the full brunt of what happened at the grocery store. Shopping with hubby is very quick, very decisive. You know what you're getting, you get it, and you get out. That is not at all how this shopping adventure went.

First, we went to get the stuff needed to make mixed drinks at home. Then he wanted snacks. Snacks included chips and dip. Well then I thought, I could make a dip at home as well, but I need crackers so I left him and went to look for crackers. The particular store didn’t' have them, so I went back and found hubby. He was happy and content to just look around.

Then he wanted ice cream. "Is there a non-dairy ice cream I can have?" ok.. prior to this hubby didn't want fake ice cream and would adamantly refuse it. So we went to look at milk-free ice creams. We found one that looked safe and put it in the cart.

Then came the chili craving.. He wanted chili. Since I cannot have peppers, we went to look at canned chili for him. Most had oats or wheat, which he's avoiding, but we did find a couple that were ok and bought both (since hubby couldn't decide which one would be better in the store, and decided he should try them both - another un-hubby-like thing to do).

At this point, I decided to pick up a couple things in the produce section. Normally I would be scolded with a "Do you really need them now? Can you come back later and get them?", but nothing was said. I was never pressured to leave the store the entire hour we were there. It was unfathomable, and the most fun I've had in a long time.

I went to pick out some produce, and hubby got distracted reading the labels of jam. I found him a few feet away, picking up jars of jam (which he doesn't eat btw, because he doesn't like most fruit) and reading the labels. He wasn't just picking up jars of jam that he might eat. No, he was picking up just random jars and reading the labels as if it was the most fun thing to do ever. He was happy and content. I nearly caused a scene with laughing so hard.

When we got home, he started munching. I was doing my own thing, so I wasn't watching him much or monitoring what he ate. (We'd just eaten a few hours before btw).

We then watched a movie, and I was a little hungry so I asked him if he wanted supper. He said he wasn't hungry and couldn't believe I was hungry. It had been about 5 hours since lunch, so I replied "Well I didn't just have the munchies and eat everything in the house." He looked a little insulted. I said, "Well what all did you eat? Am I wrong?"

He thought about it and said: "I had some chips & chili, some goulash, nuts, toffee (homemade), juice," etc.. he kept pausing naming something, then pause, named something else. I swear he went on for several minutes naming foods he'd eaten. Btw the "some chips and chili" equals an entire can of Campbell's no bean chili, and half a bag of corn chips.

I got up and made me a small dinner, all the while laughing.

We talked yesterday about it, and decided that he needs to be ultra-safe in his eating until he gets his project done. He started regaining his ability to concentrate last night, and hopefully is back to normal today.

If nothing else, he at least now understands me a little bit better, and knows that "NO, it’s not all in her head".